Dearest Libby....

Can you stand any feedback given to you ?

2008-01-10T06:30:00.001+07:00

Hi sweetie..
Udah makan belum liv ? (eh di surga juga ada lapar dan perlu makan, kan?? ). Ayah baru aja makan steak yang dibikinin sama tante Amy.Lumayan enak juga, empuk dan marinate nya cukup nyerep.
Liv, ayah kemarin baru pulang dari acara kantor di Mega Mendung yang lagi dingin banget karena hujan. Di acara itu team Ayah jadi juara satu, liv... lumayan dapet voucher Carefour walaupun jatahnya ayah, ayah kasiin buat para sekretaris di kantor. Nah di acara ini ada satu kegiatan di mana kita harus membuat thank you note dan feedback untuk orang lain. Ayah seneng dengan kegiatan ini karena dengan demikian kita bisa dapet feedback mengenai hal baik maupun hal buruk yang orang lain lihat dari kita. Herewith some of the feedbacks yang ayah dapet :
From XXX : Aku malah banyak mengenal & belajar banyak tentang pemikiran dalam hidup dari blog pak Dicky (aku suka baca your letters). It’s explain a lot tentang the way you bring up your family ‘n I really appreciate those value (keep writing ya pak…you never know berapa banyak yg terinspired dari tulisan2 mu)
Soal kerjaan, aku bersyukur punya MM mantan CD, malah aku jadi belajar banyak kombinasi sales & marketing from you.. thanks pak buat inspirasi2 nya. Cheers XXX
Dear Pak Dicky
Saya nggak punya kata2 lain selain : Terima kasih, Terima kasih, dan Terima kasih... mungki pak Dicky gak ngeh’ tapi banyak sekali guidance dan semangat yang bapak kasih ke saya… I meant what I said di testi Friendster.. and also waktu sharing session.. kalo orang bilang katanya BB-BD susah nyatu.. saya malah ngerasa jadi anak BD yang punya bapak BB.. stay cool ya pak.
-YYY-
Ps. Saya selalu ingat waktu di Manila nasehat bapak untuk enjoy work and learn as much as I can from Unilever
Dicky,
Last year was a lot easier for me because of your understanding.
When I feel sad, I know whon I should talk to
When I feel happy, I know whom I should share with
When I feel disappointed, I know whom I should scream to
When we all move on, I know I can count on you as a friend
Love
AAA
Dear Pak Dicky
Saya terinspirasi dengan yang ada di bapak adalah : Walaupun Bapak sangat sibuk dalam pekerjaan, tetapi tetap penuh perhatian terhadap keluarga
Best regards
CCC
Dear Pak Dicky
Just wanna drop ‘BIG THANKS’ for your support… your learning and our discussion J. It means a lot to me !
And keep you ‘funky’ style along with ‘nyantri’ style
Last.. proud for being part of your team
R
Dear Pak Dicky
Terima kasih untuk sharing pengalaman di every meeting and occasion. Thanks juga untuk telah menjadi contoh selalu Shalat tepat waktu dan berjamaan, hanya sedikit WL 3 yang do this, pak. Kalau ada salah mohon maaf, pak.
Terima kasih
A
Pak DKY
Thanks karena sudah mau diganggu dengan pertanyaan 2 yg bodoh J
Dulu aku kira pak Dicky galak dan dingin... ternyata enggak. Pak Dicky itu Warm (nggak maksud carmuk ya…)
Satu hal yang aku mau ngucapin thank you yang luar biasa. When my 1st prez aku ngerasa dibantu dengan banyak sekali masukan dan coaching dari bapak.. and it raise my heart in the middle of my desperate moment.. thank you pak…
Tulisanku jelek bgt ya.. gpp ya…
Ya udah ya pak..
Mudah-mudahan anaknya lahir selamat dan sehat
A
Dear Dicky
Your commitment to develop and nurture peole is superb! The way you give assessment on XXX is a very good evidence. If you continue doing it, I believe you’ll become a true leader in the future. I expect that you’ll make a big difference while in Foods
Love.
L
Dear Pak Dicky
Thanks a lot for accepting me in Savoury Foods Marketing team. It’s a priviledge for me to be able to join the “fun”team.
Input : Jangan terlalu “cool” dong pak. He he he… no hard feeling
U
To : Dicky
From : L
Pak Dicky yang ganteng dan tidak sombong, terima kasih buat kebaikan hati , ngajakin annual conf. sehingga menambah kesibukan gue (secara gak ada kerjaan gitu loh, jadi seneng banget J )
Plus lunch2 bareng dong nanti, jangan mengkhianati lagi dengan bebek goreng sama mbak Okti, he he he..
Thanks buat everything,
Keep the ‘FUN’, ‘GARING’ & ‘GAK MUTU’ soalnya it makes other people’s life brighter. J
Nggak semua ayah masukin ke sini karena sebagian ada yang sangat spesifik dan personal/ private. Tapi it really feels good to read all of those notes… mengingatkan ayah bahwa doing good really feel goods for other people and for ourselves. Nah kalao terima feedback yang bagus sih kita seneng denger nya,.. tapi gimana kalo kita terima feedback yang nggak bagus.. can we stand the critics ? Ayah pernah mendapatkan feedback dari team bahwa ternyata banyak yang mengira, atau bahkan merasa bahwa ayah adalah orang yang galak. Suatu feedback yang terus terang mengagetkan ayah karena sama sekali ayah tidak bermaksud untuk menjadi orang galak. Ayah sama sekali tidak pengen jadi boss… ayah sangat ingin jadi coach bagi team ayah. Coach yang bisa membantu mereka mencapai apa pun yang mereka inginkan.. coach yang bisa membantu mereka mencapai tujuan. Tetapi ternyata ayah dilihat sebagai sosok yang galak, dan dingin… Masya Allah.. padahal ayah pecicilan begini, mana mungkin bisa dibilang galak. But actually it’s a genuine and honest feedback. Ayah baru sadar bahwa banyak tindak tanduk dan kelakuan ayah yang membuat suasana menjadi angker/ menyeramkan. It’s a really a good feedback that I can use to improve myself. And as a human being, pasti lah ayah sangat jauh dari kesempurnaan, ayah perlu orang lain yang melihat dari luar dan mengingatkan apakah tindak-tanduk ayah sudah benar atau belum. Memang awalnya pasti kaget begitu mendengar feedback yang nggak enak, apalagi kalau kita tidak merasa demikian. Tapi ayah sangat-sangat menikmati dan menghargai feedback tersebut karena kita akan sangat sulit menilai kekurangan kita…
Udah dulu ya liv.. ayah mau bobo dulu…ngantuk nih liv… good night sleep tight..

Cium sayang
Ayah dicky

Who are We to judge ??

2008-01-10T06:28:00.000+07:00

Dearest Libby ku sayang,
Kamu inget sama tante Icha kan, mamanya Echa??…tante Icha ini salah satu sahabat ayah yang paling deket. Kita berlima (Oom Aryo, Oom Jo, Oom Bondan,Tante Icha dan ayah) dulu setiap makan siang di kantor selalu bareng-bareng…terlibat ekskul, kabur bareng dari kerjaan,dll pokoknya isinya ketawa-ketawa mulu. Kamu pasti bingung kan kok cuma tante icha sendiri yang cewek… well, kamu nggak usah bingung karena walaupun di KTP tertulis jenis kelamin wanita, tante Icha ini 99% adalah lak-laki tulen dengan segala kegagahan dan kegarangannya, pokoknya semua ciri laki-laki ada pada dia walaupun seringkali dia berusaha menutupi kelaki-lakiannya dengan memakai pakaian feminine seperti rok mini, dll… Namun demikian Tante Icha dengan 1% kewanitaannya adalah sosok yang sangat penuh perhatian, baik hati, jagoan lagipula pintar. Belum lagi kekayaan dia yang luar biasa dimana sering aja tiba-tiba dia cerita “ eh tadi gue lagi beres-beres kamar ternyata nemu handphone baru yang masih di box, gue lupa kapan gue belinya…” atau lagi “eh, waktu gue buka pintu belakang rumah gue, gue nggak sadar di belakang rumah ternyata ada Taman Safari”.” Eh, waktu gue ke garasi gue nggak sadar ternyata gue punya Alphard”. Dengan kekayaannya yang luar biasa itu, Tante Icha sering berbagi dengan teman-teman, ayah nggak pernah nggak dapet kado dari dia kalo ulang tahun (eh come to think of it… cuma dia yang selalu kasih kado ke ayah setiap ulang tahun). Dia juga sering jadi tempat pinjem duit temen-temen terdekatnya yang kesulitan. Karena kebaikan dan kedekatannya dengan kita-kita ini sampe-sampe Tante Icha selalu menjadi sasaran kecemburuan banyak orang...dari mulai istri-istri kita sampe istrinya Pak J (bener nggak cha ?? ha ha ha). Tapi dia emang terlalu pecicilan sih jadi aja dicemburuin...
Nah, surat ayah kali ini memang bukan pengen cerita tentang Tante Icha yang nggak penting itu. Tapi ada yang lebih penting yaitu mengenai ”Judging People”. Kamu mungkin tahu ya liv, kita sebagai manusia seringkali punya kecenderungan menilai orang lain. Menilai orang lain itu jelek, menilai orang lain bodoh, menilai orang lain munafik, menilai orang lain jahat, walaupun nggak selalu menilai hal yang jelek-jelek aja sih. We, as human being, can not contain ourselves from judging others....apa aja mengenai orang lain dianalysis dan dikomentarin. Balik lagi ke Tante Icha… jadi tante Icha ini setelah memiliki stempel/stigma sebagai anak urakan/ ancur, dll. Ini pun karena orang yang menilai dia seperti itu. (emang salah dia sendiri sih yang bikin stigma seperti ini... ha ha ha) memutuskan untuk memakai jilbab... Alhamdulillah.... Eh seperti yang sudah diperkirakan sebelumnya... heboh lah seluruh dunia, gimana Icha yang sangat ancur itu bisa memakai jilbab... mulai lah orang cari tahu apa motif dari pemakaian jilbab itu... walaupun tentunya hampir nggak mungkin lah menemukan motif utama dari keputusan itu karena hal itu merupakan suatu hal yang sangat pribadi dan cuma tante Icha yang bisa menjawab. Mulai lah orang-orang kasak-kusuk cari tahu, ada yang mulai membuat analysis and assumption
1.Mungkin Icha pake jilbab biar orang nggak nyangka lagi dia adalah laki-laki
2.Ooh Icha sekarang mungkin sudah masuk Islam....
3.Mungkin biar tidak menjadi sasaran sexual harassment para laki-laki tidak bertanggung jawab yang bilang ”My Mummy is yummy lah”, atau ”Paru-parunya sehat” lah...dll..
4.Mungkin pengen merubah image ancur nya
5.Mungkin karena jilbab lagi ngetrend sekarang
Pokoknya banyak lah assumsi-asumsi yang beredar di masyarakat lengkap dengan komentar : ”mudah-mudahan dia istiqamah”, ”semoga dia ngga cuma ikut-ikutan doang”, ”Nggak ngaruhlah kalo udah ancur mah ancur aja” dan segala macam komentar yang dari mulai simpatik (sopan) sampe yang melecehkan keseriusan tante Icha. Setiap hari tante Icha selalu ditanyain orang ” Kenapa loe pake jilbab?” dia minta saran sama ayah gimana jawabnya ” ayah bilang jawab aja ” Karena gue bisa”.. abis perkara kan... see how people is so nosy about other people’s business. Mereka mempertanyakan keputusan tante Icha, mereka menyangsikan keseriusan dia, mereka menyangsikan ketahanan tante Icha pake jilbab, sebagian malah mencibir... ”hiih munafik, kelakuan masih gitu aja sok sok an pake jilbab”... why suddenly do they so care so much about her ?? kenapa pula mereka mempertanyakan hal-hal itu ?? so what kalau tante Icha memang munafik ? so what kalau tante icha memang cuma ikutan trend ? so what kalau dia memang nggak serius ?? so what ? so what? Jauh-jauh hari ayah bilang sama tante Icha bahwa keputusan untuk pake jilbab harus datang dari hati yang paling dalam dan it shouldn’t come from external pressure. Nggak ada artinya pake jilbab hanya karena takut dibilang ancur, pengen dibilang shalihah, pengen dipuji orang, takut dicibir orang kalo pake rok mini dan baju kutung mulu. Pake jilbab sebaiknya adalah ”karena hati saya ingin berbakti kepada Allah SWT”. Resiko untuk memakai atau tidak memakai jilbab pasti ada... selalu ayah bilang kan ”in every choice there are consequences.” salah satu resiko adalah ya itu bagaimana orang menilai kita (other people judging us).. padahal kalo dipikir-pikir who are we to judge ?? apakah dengan memakai jilbab kita pasti masuk surga ? apakah dengan tidak pake jilbab kita pasti masuk neraka ?? siapa yang tahu kecuali Allah SWT. Ayah ingat hadits mengenai cerita pelacur yang memberi minum anjing dan kata Rasulullah pelacur itu adalah ahli surga... siapa yang tahu.. Who are we to judge ??? memang benar kita harus berusaha memperbesar kemungkinan dengan berusaha mengikuti aturan atau perintah Allah, tapi at the end of the day.. cuma Allah SWT yang tahu. Nah kalaupun tante Icha suatu saat memutuskan untuk tidak memakai jilbab lagi, ayah masih sangat menghargai keputusan dia, karena ayah tahu keputusan itu pasti mengikuti kata hatinya. Paling tidak ada masa dimana dia memperbesar kemungkinan masuk surga dengan memakai jilbab untuk berbakti kepada Allah SWT. But then again, who knows....0ne thing for sure, i think we don’t have the right to judge other people.. because we DON’T know (makanya jangan sok tahu….). Maka dari itu (makdartu… halah), ayah cuma kasih saran ke tante Icha…”biarkan siapapun menggonggong….loe harus tetap berlalu”. Stay firm with your decision, whatever it is…(Way to go, cha !! I admire your courage to follow your heart and go against all odds)
Udah dulu ya liv, kita lagi di bandung nih, mau pulang ke Jakarta… nanti kita ngobrol lagi ya…

Miss you very very much..
Ayah dicky

Paris Je t'aime

2008-01-10T06:27:00.000+07:00

Hi sayangku libby,
Lagi apa liv ? sekarang tanggal 21 November 2007, mommy dan ayah baru sampe di Paris nih…kita tadi dari London jam 10.30 naik Eurostar. Hujan yang selama ini mengguyur London, sebelnya hari ini malah nggak datang dan cuaca sangat cerah. Wa willy nganterin kita ke St. Pancras station pake tube.. it was actually very convenient.. walaupun agak penuh karena pas jam orang berangkat kerja. Kita sampe di St.Pancras a bit early sehingga kita sempat duduk dulu di stasiun lokal di lt.2. Ayah pikir kita bisa duduk2 dulu,ngopi di cafe atau lihat-lihat toko stasiun, ternyata belum ada apa-apanya... St.Pancras memang baru sekitar 2 minggu diresmikan menjadi stasiun Eurostar sehingga belum banyak toko2 yang dibuka. Mommy sempet beli sandwich dan biskuit di Marks & Spencer’s tapi nggak ada tempat duduk !! makanya kita naik ke lt. dua which is sebenernya merupakan platform local train. St.Pancras station cukup besar dan kelihatan cukup tua juga. Setelah menunggu sekitar 1 jam akhirnya kita naik ke Eurostar. Karena pertimbangan budget dan benefit yang bakal didapat, kita settle dengan kelas 2 aja bukan first class. Beda harganya cukup banyak,.. lumayan kan... sementara kita pikir kelas dua juga kelihatannya sih cukup nyaman. Dan begitu kita naik ke cabin, memang cukup nyaman (walaupun kalau menurut ayah sih Argo Gede nggak kalah lah interiornya). Begitu jalan, barulah berasa bedanya Eurostar dengan Argo Gede karena di EuroStar nggak kerasa kereta jalan di atas bantalan... (gejek, gejek nya sama sekali nggak kerasa). Cuma agak kerasa ketika kita mulai masuk ke bawah tanah/terowongan, di mana kepala/ kuping agak kerasa pekak (karena mungkin kabinnya nggak pake pressurized cabin seperti di pesawat).
Perjalanan dari London ke Paris, melewati padang-padang rumput dan ladang-ladang pertanian sepanjang perjalanan. Nggak kerasa dalam dua jam kita sudah tiba di Gare du Nord di Paris. Celingukan nggak ngerti kita musti kemana karena ayah pikir kita musti ngelewatin custom dulu seperti halnya setiap saat kita memasuki wilayah suatu negara, tetapi ternyata nggak ada custom yang musti kita lewati. Mommy pengen pipis dulu, eh ternyata harus bayar liv... 1 euro untuk buang air kecil dan 2 euro untuk buang air besar... wadddooh... kayak di indonesia aja...mana mahal lagi.. masa sekali pipis musti bayar 13 ribu rupiah....ya udah ,gimana lagi. ntung ayah ada 1 Euro uang kembalian waktu beli karcis Euro Star di Jakarta. Abis itu, ayah tukerin Poundsterling ke Euro di tempat penukaran uang... sialnya Euro lagi naik, jadi rugi deh.. lalu ayah juga sempetin ngambil uang di ATM, karena takut kurang. Tadinya mau naik Metro aja menuju hotel, biar ngehemat. Tapi karena semuanya dalam bahasa perancis (beli tiket aja nggak bisa) daripada nyasar nggak karuan bawa-bawa koper akhirnya kita putuskan untuk naik taxi aja. Setelah antri sekitar 30 menit kita naik taxi dari stasiun ke hotel di Rue Montorgueil. Sebenernya kalau lihat di peta, nggak terlalu jauh dan tinggal lurus aja dari stasiun ke hotel tapi mungkin karena banyak jalan satu arah jadi kerasa kayak muter-muter (biar nggak suudzon sama supir taxinya kita mikir gitu aja deh...). It cost us sekitar 10 euro (okay lah..). Hotelnya ternyata sangat2 kecil.. jauh dari yang kita bayangkan, padahal hotel ini adalah bintang empat. Hotelnya cuma punya 20 kamar dan terletak di jalan yang penuh dengan sidewalk cafes ala Paris. Sebelum berangkat Mbak Anti yang tinggal di Perancis bilang bahwa area ini adalah area yang chic dan relatively cukup mahal. Kamarnya sempit.. walaupun sebenernya cukup cozy sih…untungnya kamar mandinya hampir sama gedenya dengan kamar tidur..he he he…ayah reserved hotel ini lewat internet dan dibilang lokasinya paling tengah kota, paling deket ke Musee d’ Louvre (tujuan utama ayah di Paris). It’s walking distance from the hotel to some of most interesting places in Paris (walaupun sebenernya ya jaraknya cukup jauh juga lah buat ukuran orang melayu kayak kita yang parkir aja pengennya selalu di depan pintu masuk.)
Setelah istirahat sebentar, kita nggak mau menyia-nyiakan waktu yang sangat singkat ini untuk jalan2 di Paris (selain karena lapar juga). Tujuan utama hari ini adalah shopping di Gallery Laffayatte. Kita memutuskan untuk jalan dari hotel, selain dekat juga sambil menikmati suasana kota Paris yang menurut ayah sangat cantik. Selain itu juga cari-cari restoran yang cocok dengan kita (enak dan halal… selain nggak terlalu mahal tentunya). Kita nggak mau kejadian di London dimana kita akhirnya wasting foods karena memesan babi nggak mau kejadian lagi. Setelah berjalan sekitar 200m kita memutuskan untuk berhenti di sebuah steak house. Cukup enak juga steaknya (nggak tahu memang enak atau karena lapar kali..) dan suasana Paris nya sangat terasa… romantis banget... padahal masih sore.. ha ha ha... oh ya, cuaca di Paris hari ini cerah sekali, walaupun menurut ayah lebih dingin dibandingkan dengan London, sepanjang jalan mommy dan ayah pelukan (karena dingin, dan berasa romantis aja di paris... he he he..). Setelah berjalan sekitar 30 menit akhirnya kita sampe di Gallery Laffayatte yang letaknya di belakang Gedung Opera Nasional yang sangat cantik. Gedungnya seperti gedung buatan Romawi (jangan2 memang buatan Romawi ya..) Kita sampai di sana sekitar jam 6 dan suasana nya sama seperti di London kayak udah malem banget. Karena sudah mendekati Christmas, daerah itu sudah dihiasi dengan lampu-lampu yang indah..... very nicely illuminated. Gallery Laffayette terbagi menjadi dua gedung utama yang dipisahkan oleh jalan. Yang satu untuk perempuan, yang satunya lagi untuk laki-laki. Kedua gedung disambungkan oleh jembatan penghubung. Barang-barang yang ada di G.Laffayette adalah first class branded items. Cuma ya itu harganya memang mahal-mahal ya… bukannya nggak sadar bahwa branded items itu memang mahal tetapi setelah dibandingkan barang-barang yang exactly the same dengan yang ada di Jakarta, harganya ternyata sekitar 20% lebih mahal…dan ternyata sebagian besar juga tokh ada sudah ada di Jakarta. Walhasil nggak beli apa apa deh… eh itu mah memang ayah pelit aja kali ya??? Kita pulang ke hotel karena tokonya mau tutup jam 20.30. Balik ke hotel jalan lagi lewat jalan yang lain karena mommy mau cari duty free shop (Paris Look) yang dia inget ada di sekitar G.Laffayette. Ternyata took itu memang ada di deket situ dan kita putuskan untuk datang ke situ lagi nanti untuk lihat-lihat. On the way to the hotel, kita pick up waffle yang dijual di pinggir jalan.. lumayan juga. Satu hal yang ayah perhatikan adalah sopan santun berlalu lintas di sini ternyata jauh lebih jelek dibandingkan dengan di London, di sini orang nyetir kayak di Jakarta, liv..mana klakson bunyi melulu.
Wah, liv, cape deh perjalanan hari ini dari mulai London sampe jalan-jalan (literally jalan di Paris). Besok tujuan utama kita adalah Musee d’ Louvre dan Eiffel Tower).I’m really excited !! See you tomorrow liv… ayah mau bobo dulu… cape banget nih, good night liv, sleep tight...

Cium sayang
Ayah dicky

Mommy is pregnant again !!

2008-01-10T06:26:00.002+07:00

Hi my sweetheart…
How have you been liv ? Just wanna break the news to you that mommy is pregnant again (apparently our honeymoon in London and Paris was successful.. ha ha ha). So, you’re gonna have another siblings (let me know liv whether it’s gonna be a boy or a girl). To be honest, mommy is not really keen with the pregnancy since she felt that we already have enough daughters and she feel that she’s too old already. But it’s me who wanted one more. Before mommy and I got married, everytime we discussed about the future family that we’re gonna have, I always said that I wanted three children in my family. The reason being, I just felt that three children is still manageable financially and on the other hand it’s also going to be quite merry having three kids. Three kids will make the family “jadi rame”. “Rame” with the laughters, with the talking, etc. and not too mention that when we got old, we still have somebody left behind in the family to accompany us (I don’t want when I retired, all of my kids are having family already and leave two of us at home.. he he he..). It’s should’ve been perfect with you, Adelle, and Aliyya around but since you went home to heaven earlier, I want to keep my wish by having another kid to make three kids around the house. So it’s not because that I wanted a boy in the family as when a lot of people keep telling us to have another kid. To me having a boy or a girl would be the same (knowing my naughtiness during my childhood, I always worry to have a boy in my family… afraid that “karma” will haunt me and my boy will be as naughty as me when I was a boy and give me a lot of headaches… he he he…). If you’re still here with us, I could imagine my three daughters will grow to become three beautiful, smart, and kind girls. You will be leading and giving guidance to your little sisters as you’re guys growing up (you always did when you were still alive). Ah well, it won’t happen… but I’m sure that you will give guidance to your little sisters from heaven through their dreams as Adelle and Aliyya keep telling me about them having dreams about you.
Mommy’s current pregnancy seems a lot tougher than the previous ones. Now mommy is in 6th week and she always complain of having back ache and her morning sickness now does not happen in the morning only but all the time..... (aduuuh ripuh banget deh liv hamil yg ini…). Mommy always asked me to massage her back… (dan ayah nggak boleh cape… he he he…).To be honest, I feel sorry for her since I was the one who wanted this pregnancy and she seems very tough having it now. Btw, she always wanted to eat sushi and sashimi but I told her that sushi is not good for the pregnant woman (for the fetus, since raw fish can contain a lot of mercury and bacteria). And she also wanted duren !! We haven’t been to an obgyn (we are still looking for a good one in Jakarta, most probably we are looking for a doctor who practice in RSPI, and preferably a woman obgyn although oddly enough, apparently not too many woman’s obgyn around… I wonder why…)
Ngantuk nih, liv… doain mommy ya supaya kehamilan nya lancar, sehat terus, nanti adik kamu lahir dengan selamat, panjang umur, bisa tumbuh cantik/ cakep, pinter, baik kayak kamu…jadi anak yang shaleh/ shalehah..

Miss you very much....
Ayah dicky

London is a very expensive city

2008-01-10T06:26:00.001+07:00

Hi hunny,
How are you doin, Liv ? I wanna continue my story of our trip to London. On the third day we were in London, we were planning to use tube the whole day to go to anywhere inLondon. We were planning of going to some places that we missed yesterday. Our London’s Big Bus tour ticket is still valid till today, so we still can use the bus to go around the city. Wa ibu was going with us. Early in the morning we have planned where to go first, then next, then next, because we wanted to maximize our time in London. We bought day pass tube ticket so we can go on and off the tube whenever we want and wherever we want.. Our first destination was Maddame Tussaud. We already bought the ticket for 17 Pounds each yesterday when we bought the Big Bus ticket. We got off in the Baker Street station and just walked from the station to M.Tussaud which is located only about 25 meters from that station. Wa ibu bought the ticket for the most popular touris attraction in London (so that the ticket sellers said yesterday) in the ticket counter for 30 pounds (almost Rp 600 thousand !!). Good thing we have bought the tickets in Big Bus with discounted price. We have heard that anything in London is very expensive but I don’t have any clue, that it’s not only expensive,… it’s VERY expensive… We were in Maddame Tussaud for about one hour and half. Then we went to the biggest toy store in London, Hemley’s which is located in Regent Street. We didn’t buy anything there for three reasons, 1) again, it’s very expensive prices, 2) almost anything there we can easily find in Jakarta or Singapore at worse, 3) we still have to go to Paris and we didn’t want to carry too many things on the way there, especially knowing that we are taking train tomorrow. Wa ibu went home straight from the toy store since she has to pick up Laras and fadhlan from the school in the afternoon. Mommy and daddy continued our journey on another worse rainy and cold London weather. We went back to Oxford street station to go to Harrods (the most famous Shopping center owned by Dodi Al Fayed). Again, everything there was very very expensive. Almost all the brands are available in Indonesia, although the collection was more complete. We only bought some toys for Adelle and Aliyya. The Christmas spirit has started to be felt there in Harrods. A lot of people seems doing Christmas shopping already. Anyway, at least we got off the stores with some big shopping bags from Harrods in our hands. Feel like rich people… ha ha ha…We then took tube to go to Piccadilly Circus station. Mommy wanted to have lunch and I remember there are some restaurant near Leicester square, at least there is KFC (which we had dinner on the first night). Innitially, we were going to have steak for lunch, but after considering 50 Pounds steak per person, we felt that it’s just not worth it to have it (beside mommy wanted rice already… dasar orang melayu ya nggak berasa makan kalo nggak ada nasi). So, we ended up having lunch in Chinese restaurant nearby. Mommy ordered peking duck, while I ordered prime ribs. Turn out the portion is so huge that we couldn’t eat it all… and the prime rib that I ordered apparently was pork !! It was the second time we ordered pork and ended up wasting it !! We took the left over home. After having the lunch we continued browsing along Regent Street up to Oxford street. Stop in some of the stores along the way but again the prices stopped us from buying anything. We went all the way down the Oxford street toward Marks Spencer’s biggest store in the world (so they say…) we stopped by in Disney’s Store… It’s a paradise for little kids.. you would have loved it, liv !! All the princesses costumes were there…. I really like a costume of a new movie called “Enchanted”.. but it costs 125 pounds (2,5 million rupiah for a costumes ??? hhmmm, I don’t think so). Despite our drool on the stuffs there but because it’s outrageous price, we only bought some High School Musical stuffs. They are still expensive… but we figured Adelle and Aliyya would love them (your sisters really love High School Musical and all merchandise about it). We went home at 18.30, after too much of walking and not enough of shopping… hik hik hik…..London is very expensive city, Liv (payah ya kalau jadi turis kere kayak mommy & ayah… he he he…)…. But I like it anyway.. Wish you were here with us liv, visiting your bestest buddy, laras… tomorrow we are gonna go to Paris...

Lots of loves ayah dicky

11th Anniversary

2008-01-10T06:19:00.002+07:00

Hi Libby,
What’s up sweetie pie ? I wanna interrupt my story about my trip to London with something very important. Today is mommy’s & daddy’s 11th wedding anniversary. Yup next January will be my 11th januaries I spent with mommy as my wife. I just want to use this occasion to reflect and tell you how lucky I’am, having your mom as my wife as the mother of all my children. She’s really an amazing woman. I couldn’t have enough words to tell stories about her greatness… she’s simply the best for me….
Let me start with the story of how we met and how we became a true partner in crime till now…forever…. and ever…Mommy and I met the first time in Unpad’s volleyball’s court ?? in front of Aula Unpad in Dipati Ukur. It was 16 years ago during UNPAD's OPSPEK. Mommy was running because she was late, she was wearing white blouse and white skirts, two ponny tails, with couple of ribbons in her hair. She was pretty but to be honest, I wasn’t really attracted to her, knowing that in my eyes (at that time) all pretty girls are materialistic (Semua cewek cantik = MATRE !! ha ha ha), beside she wasn’t really my type either.. she was a bit bitchy (judes ! syape loe ???… that’s what I thought at that time, ha ha ha)…. But I was happy that I found out that she was in the same major as me (international relations).. so at least we have pretty girls in our classroom…
Later we became good friends, mommy was Tante Emeh’s friend in high school and Tante Emeh was Oom Thanon’s friend while Oom Thanon was my friend in high school.. so to cut the story short, we became best friends (among 8 other friends : Oom Thanon, Tante Emeh, Tante Olla, Oom Dikky Panjul, Oom Andit, Tante Mega, Oom Bombom, Oom Ogie and plus Oom Deddy Morded). We were notorious group of hedonistic beautiful people (ha ha ha) in the campus. Well, Mommy, Tante Olla, Tante Emeh, and Tante Mega were the kembangs of the kampus…the pretty ones (of course there were some other girls who were also pretty but they were among the popular ones). And during our first year of college, we always played around, hang around in Gelael (eat in KFC) , we went dugem in SE, watched movies together, had dinner together, went to subang, went to Puncak, went to Pangandaran, went to lembang, etc… it was all played, played and played… ha ha ha…as if we have nothing to worry… the group was known as The Cerdas Jaya group… a lot of people in the campus looked cynically to us… because as if all that we cared about was playing and having fun… well they were’nt totally wrong either… ha ha ha… all that we care about was really having fun… but yet we still get good grades… of course except oom panjul and Oom Bombom (sorry nya Nyul & Bom…) our GPA were still above 3 in our first year of college, in fact I was having one of the highest GPA in the class. Almost all of the girls on the group at that time were having relationship (including mommy… darn !!) but all of them were in the process of breaking up (bener nggak sih ??? ha ha ha… jangan2 gue ngarang).
Along the way…, on March 15, 1992, I declared my love to mommy in mommy’s house in Jl.Ciremay… (ha ha ha…nyalip di tikungan). But we kept it secret to other group members… until we finally announced it to everybody.. but you know when some people in the group are having relationship then of course it will affect the others. Cerdas Jaya was sort of falling apart… there were distances in some of the members for a while, until everything went back to normal again toward end of our college years.
Mommy and daddy were inseperable at that time… you could almost see us together wherever we went. We were like siamesse twins… ha ha ha…We watched movies almost every Tuesday because that’s when new movies coming out at that time in Studio 21. we didn’t go to clubs or disco that much…. Because both of us don’t drink alcohol and we were lousy in dancing… but very often I treated mommy to Glosis or Tizi’s which are the top restaurants in Bandung at that time…. Or just went to Cisangkuy for a glass of yoghurt… most importantly, we were always together…We spent the college years together… literally everyday..
Did we fight ? of course.. being a jealous and insecure guy (knowing that I’m not that handsome, not that macho, not that rich, not that smart, etc) I always have a strong jealousy toward any guy who tried to approach mommy (mommy had so many fans at that time… huuuhh!!), so most of the fight was started because of my jealousy. I remember one time mommy got so mad that she broke glass of her house’s front door with her fist (now that foolish act of course cause her to bleed etc)… now you see how she could get really angry… hiii syerem. but we always settled the fight in less than three days…we could barely far away from each other. In the process, I turned mommy into a typical girl that I like….the way she dress, the way she talk, the way she behave… (nggak bener ya ?? he he he…). She transformed herself into a gracious &; elegant girl … or I should say I turned her into a lady (ha ha ha….) Despite of our fights but our relationship was mostly filled with loves and laughs…not so much of tears…
Then, after having steady relationship for about 4 years, after I graduated from the college and got good job in Astra Internasional, Uti asked me, how serious I was with mommy and asking what to wait till we get married. Otherwise she would give mommy to other guy… ha ha ha… So I answered that I was really serious and planning to make her accompany me for the rest of my life. So we planned for the engagement time (or in this case, more of a lamaran) on August, 1996. We set the date for the marriage on Saturday night, December 7, 1996. So after short preparation, since both mommy and I were working at that time in Jakarta, we got married in Secapa Bandung (at that time, that’s the biggest hall that we could use for 1200 invitees). Mommy was really really pretty on the wedding day…she was wearing green kebaya and I was wearing green beskap, the color theme was green (come to think of it, I couldn’t recall why we choosed green as our color theme…). Mommy was having her period on that day !! (darn !!). As I have told you, we didn’t have honeymoon since I have to start working in Unilever as management trainee the following week.
Now of course I wouldn’t be able to tell you day to day stories of our marriage. But what I can tell you is that I don’t feel any less love toward her (if only not increasing)…. I love her as much as when she was my girlfriend (again if not more). We still fights (now mostly about money… ha ha ha)… but we still fill our marriage with loves (lots and lots of loves) and laughs…we take and give, we compromise… if one of us got mad, one of us will be quiet so there were hardly big fights in 11 years of our marriage.Within 11 years of our marriage, of course so many things have happened,…. happiness as well as sadness (the worst sadness of course was when you left us)… but we learn to use the principle of “Berusaha, Berdoa, Bersyukur, dan Bersabar” . We try and work hard for everything we do, we pray to God to bless us with the best result, we are thankfull if God give us what we think good for us, and we are patience when God give us something which we feel bad for us. Mommy has been really the best partner for me sailing through the current and waves of life.She’s always there through the best and the worst time of my life.She has given me three beautiful daughters… I wouldn’t be able to live without her….she’s my half….she’s simply THE BEST !! ((I love you very much shaney….thank you for always being there for me, thanks for being patience with my childishness, my ignorance,….please accompany me till the end of my life).
Sebelas Januari Bertemu
Menjalani Kisah Cinta Ini
Naluri Berkata Engkaulah Milikku
Bahagia Selalu Dimiliki
Bertahun Menjalani Bersamamu
Kunyatakan bahwa Engkaulah jiwaku

Akulah Penjagamu
Akulah Pelindungmu
Akulah Pendampingmu
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu

Pernahku Menyakiti Hatimu
Pernah kau melupakan janji ini
Semua Karena kita ini manusia

Akulah Penjagamu
Akulah Pelindungmu
Akulah Pendampingmu
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu

Chorus:Kau bawa dirikuKedalam hidupmu
Kau basuh dirikuDengan rasa sayang
Senyummu juga sedihmu adalah Hidupku
Kau sentuh cintaku dengan lembut
Dengan sejuta warna

Let me know liv if you want to ask something from me.. Gotta go now…good night Libby.

Love you always
Ayah dicky

Sunshine in Trafalgar Square

2008-01-10T06:19:00.001+07:00

Dearest Libby
How are you today ?? this is the second day we are in London, I finally had a good night sleep !! may be I was really really tired and by the time we arrived at wa willy’s home last night at 20.30, it was already 2.30am in Jakarta. Today, we are planning to take a tour within London to see some point of interests. We were at home when a telephone guy from BT came and we have to wait for wa ibu coming back from dropping off teh laras and fadhlan to the school. Then, we walked from wa willy’s house to southfield underground station. It was still cold and raining… but it wasn’t as cold as last night. The wind was not that bad..and it’s nice talking to mommy while we were walking for about 10 minutes pass along nice victorian houses. Wa willy’s house situated in a new housing and apartment complex but to get to the station we have to go passing by some old houses… but it’s still nice neighborhood. One thing I noticed, the street is usually narrow, 2 lane street with cars being park on both side of the street, leaving only small area for cars to pass by… and british apparently drives their cars quite fast…with these narrow streets, no wonder tube become so popular, otherwise there will be traffic jam everywhere. As I didn’t buy the ticket by myself yesterday, I had to ask the officer to teach me buying the ticket for the tube from the machine. One day pass for zone 1-4 cost us about 5+ pounds per person, so it is really expensive, but in comparison if we have to take taxi wherever we go, it is way way cheaper ….. we had studied the stop , the connecting lines, etc, to ensure that we didn’t loose time getting lost in London. But, it’s very easy to follow the information and getting anywhere, if we got lost we just get off the train and change to other line… it’s that simple…very nice !!! We decided to stop in Picadilly Circus station then there we would buy “Big Bus” city tour ticket. When we got to Picadilly street we looked for bus stop and it’s easy to find. Apparently the bus stop is also the stop for Big Bus City Tour and we could buy the ticket from the officer there. The ticket price of Big Bus City Tour is 22 pound per person (about Rp 400 thousand) and since it was winter they have special offer that the ticket is valid for 48 hours (from usually 24 hours) and we could buy ticket to some of London’s attraction with special price. We decided to buy the Maddame Tussaud’s ticket there as well so we could get discount and we don’t have to queue there. Maddame Tussaud cost us 17 pound per person (in the ticket box it’s 30 pounds) a very significant discount. With this bus we can go to almost all London’s places of interest. We can sit on top of the bus which is open air.. if it’s not raining actually it’s really nice to sit on top of the bus. We decided to take the red route in which we will start the tour from Picadilly street to Trafalgar Square, one of the most famous place of London. We stopped there for a while to…. Take some pictures !!! ha ha ha…. The sun is finally shinning… really shining for about an hour… before it’s raining again… darn !! We also went to National Gallery which is located across Trafalgar Square. I was really excited to go inside since National Gallery has a wide collections of paintings from great painters. My favourite one is of course Van Gogh’s !! there are a lot of Van Gogh’s painting there… I really love ‘em… beside Van Gogh’s, the National Gallery also have collections of Monet, Manet, Cezzane, etc. oh, I could spend full day just to browse around this museum but since we only have limited time in London, we only spend like couple of hours here…before we went to Museum’s shop and picked up 2 posters of Van Gogh’s painting, ready for framing. Then we hopped on the bus again to the next stop which is the Westminster ! here is the Big Ben, The Parliament, and Westminster Abbey church located. On the way there we passed by the Downing Street which is the official residence of England’s Prime Minister. If the time’s right actually we can see the guard’s changing near there. After taking some pictures in Westminster, we continued the journey to London Eye, a gigantic ferish wheel (they said it’s the biggest one in the world) but we decided not to get inside since the weather was not that good anyway, (what will we see ??) so we just passed by and continued the journey to St. Patrick’s Cathedral in which Princes Charles and Lady Diana got married. It was a beautiful cathedral… we had lunch there in Fresh Italy, this part of area seems like a business area since lots of people wearing suits and tie. Fresh Italy is quite nice.. I ordered lasagna and Chilli Shrimp salad, while mommy ordered carbonara which is apparently have lots of pork bacon in it… so she didn’t touch it and just ate my food…again it’s not cheap to have lunch here. We kinda get used to expensive price by now for everything…. He he he… we continued the journey passing the famous London bridge, then we stopped in Tower of London and Tower Bridge. Again looking at the timing we didn’t go inside the Tower of London where they place the crown of the king’s and queen’s. From here, we took a boat cruising along the Thames river.. passing by UNILEVER’s Global Head Office in Black Friar. The guide said “ On the right, there’s a big white building, the home of giant detergent and soap manufacturer Unilever” (giant detergent and soap manufacturer ??? this guide needs more training… he he he…). The HO looks stunning especially with lights start to illuminate the building…suddenly I was proud being an Unileverian. The day has been quite dark although the time just showed 16.00.. the London eye and Big Ben’s looks incredible in lights. The boat stopped at the Westminster pier where we walked passing by Westminster Abbey Church (I think Prince Andrew got married here). We were waiting for the Big bus to take us back to the Picadilly circus station. Oh no…. apparently, the big bus operation stopped at 16.30 so we decided to take regular bus to go back to picadilly street. Thank God, there is the last bus coming so we just hopped in… rejeki mah nggak kemana.. the Officer asked us the destination and when we said we are going to picadilly… he said we were on the wrong bus and suggested to get off in victoria and take the bus to green park which is the last stop for that bus. We just followed his suggestion. But what I found amazing is that the bus officer was very helpful, asking all the passenger and suggesting the best route to take them to their destination. Yeah because it’s already late (19.00). we stopped at the Green Park bus station and went straight to the tube station to go back to Putney. Oooh.. what a day !!!! full of walking, full of pictures taking… not enough shopping… everything’s soooo expensive !!
We’ll catch up again later okay liv…

still miss you a lot..
ayah dicky

It was really cold and wet...

2008-01-10T06:18:00.001+07:00

Hi hunny,
I want to continue telling you stories of our journey in London… you know what, a lot of people said to us that we were having second honeymoon… well they were not entirely wrong… we were having honeymoon but it’s was not entirely right either since honestly we never had the real first honeymoon. As I have told you earlier, I was a trainee in Unilever when getting married to mommy and I was not able to really go away for a honeymoon since I was not allowed to have leave yet. So, technically this is our first honeymoon…. So this is the first part of our journey in london and paris.Knowing our very limited time in London, we didn’t want to waste any time. After we had lunch in wa willy’s house (wa ibu cooked duck) we were ready to start exploring London. We put on our heavy jacket knowing it’s gonna be cold. Wa ibu drove us to Southfield tube station (the closest one to her house) because it was a bit raining while actually it’s very close and walking distance. Wa willy bought the tube ticket for us. It was 16.00 pm but the sky was already quite dark, as if it was 19.00 o’clock in the evening. We are going to go to Oxford Street since according to wa willy,almost all the stores there has started their Christmas sale and program. Well, Oxford st. & Regent st. is one of the center of shopping area in London, where almost all top brands open their stores, and big retail chain such as Mark and Spencers, Debenhams, etc. also present there. We used district line tube and stopped once in Earls Court station to change the line to Picadilly line and get off the station in Picadilly Circus station. It was really dark as if it’s evening already and to make it worse it was raining hard. Picadilly Street is like Times Square in NYC, one of the landmark of the city. Btw, as narcissist we took a lot of photos since we were on the tube and continued on the street. It was really cold !!! the rain and the wind really made it worse…. We walked to Leicester square and saw some of the theatres there although we didn’t watch any of the show. We had dinner at 18.00 in KFC (we went all the way to London, and having dinner in KFC ?????? might as well have it in Ambassador mall). But, we just wanted to grab quick bite since we just had late lunch in wa willy’s house. The meal package cost about 4 pounds (around Rp 80.000) very expensive considering we can get the same package for less than 1.5 pounds in Indonesia… yeah this is London.. one of the most expensive city in the world…. Then we were heading toward Regent street… unfortunately most of the stores were already closed by that time (and it was only about 19.00). so we didn’t get the chance to browse around… we ended just taking pictures….lots and lots of pictures.. (amazing how digital camera has helped us a lot with this !!!). Oxford street started to have been illuminated by lights… Christmas lights !! amazingly beautiful….London with all the old buildings, narrow street, double deckers, and funny taxis is really a beautiful city… We had quite good walk from Picadilly Circus to Leicester Square, then strolled along to Regent st. and Oxford st. in a really cold, windy, and wet condition…Welcome to London in winter !!! we then went back to wa willy’s house using tube again at around 20.00… what a day !! considering I haven’t slept for almost 24 hours… but it was really fun and worth it…. Will continue with the story tomorrow ya liv….

miss you a lot
ayah dicky

London, Here We come..

2008-01-10T06:15:00.000+07:00

Hi my sweetest Hunny !
How are ya doin, liv…. Finally the moment that we have been waiting for weeks has arrived. Mommy and daddy were going to London. We took Emirates as our flight since we thought the fare is very reasonable and we heard the quality of the planes, the entertainment, the foods are quite good…and of course we took economy class and not the business class, the fare for business class to London is just way too much if we have to pay ourself (unless being paid by company as usual). Our flight is on Saturday November 17, at 22.00. so in the morning and afternoon we still could take Adelle and Aliyya for their performance in Pasaraya… Adelle was doing the fashion show while Aliyya was doing fashion show and singing… they performed quite well though… we can see that Adelle is very talented in walking on runaway.Then at 19.00 we took a cab to go to airport, Adelle and Aliyya are still awake, but they were good girls...they are brave girls. So nobody cried…. Thank God !! otherwise it will be tough for me to leave them for a full week…. Like I told you last time… I’m worry too much…I'm paranoid..
We got to the Cengkareng at 20.00, so still plenty of time to spend time and chat with mommy in the lounge, I was a bit hesitant to use SQ lounge with my PPS Card because last time I was rejected bringing a company (new rule forbid us to take somebody who doesn’t have SQ ticket… damn rule!) we have choiced to go to Citibank lounge or ANZ lounge but finally we decided to spend the hour chit chating in Starbuck…it’s always nice to talk and laugh with mommy…. So the hour was really worth it to spend…till we were called for boarding… the plane was on time and as expected the plane is fairly new plane, Boeing 777 ER, but as expected too, the space was soooooo little…. matter of fact I should not complain because I should have known that economy class supposed to be this tight…(as I get accustomed flying all around the world with business class…paid by Unilever… he he he…).
Surprisingly, The flight was not that full…not too long, mommy went into deep sleep…. lucky her… while I was trying hard to keep my eyes closed… we stopped over in Kuala Lumpur for an hour… and apparently the flight from KL to was full !! again I barely could keep my eyes closed to get some sleep… I move here and there to find the best position to sleep….I couldn’t !! on well…. economy class.. what do you expect… good thing the entertainment system surprisingly is very good, in fact, I might say it's even better than SQ (which I frequently use). The food is also hot and tasty… pretty good for economy class…. Amazingly the flight attendant mostly are oriental looks !!(Korean I supposed), and not Arabs as I expected earlier… they are quite friendly and gave good service.
The flight from KL to Dubai took about 8 hours and due to time difference, we arrived in Dubai at around 5 o clock… which I spent most of my flight time reading, listening to “Sempurna” from my iPod and reading…Darn, I forgot my Paulo Coelho…I managed to sleep a bit… but barely, I guess.. Dubai Airport apparently isn’t as nice as we expected, it’s not that big and not too many stores either… Changi is much much better than this one… and sooo many people slept on the floor !!! it’s soo arab !! ha ha ha… we have about 2 hours until boarding, so we went to some duty free stores just browsing around… and found out that the price is not cheaper either !! so we decided not to buy anything.
The flight from Dubai to London Heatrow took around 6 hours, and again I still couldn’t sleep…. Having problem with my sitting position and the fact that I don’t have much support (fat) on my behind that make my butt a bit tired and stiff…Mommy, as again… dozed off… lucky her… so again I spent my time reading, listening to my iPod and played my PSP (Sooooo happy bringing my PSP!!). We arrived in Heathrow at 11.50, which is 5 minutes delayed than the time we supposed to arrive, despite 45 minutes delay when we started flying… the immigration is easy and the officer was a lady which is quite friendly… only took about 5 minutes we already claimed our luggage… the first bag came quite quick.. but the big one took quite long.. we started to worry.. since in that big bag, Nini asked us to bring 4kg of grind spices for fried chicken…we were aftraid that this will create problems in the immigration, knowing life stocks, plants, animal, etc are not allowed to be brought to UK from abroad.. Alhamdulillah after waiting for about 20 minutes the bag finally appeared… fuiiih !!!! Wa Willy has been waiting in the arrival lounge…so off we go to Putney !! thank God we were picked up by wa willy, otherwise we have to pay about 60 pounds to get to his house…the weather was a bit gloomy but not raining… and we got lost for a bit… eventhough wa willy use Satnav in his car… apparently… he is very rare going to heathrow using the car… ha ha ha..
From the airport to wa willy's house took about 30 minutes (it’s Sunday remember… so not many cars on the road)… So finally we met again with your favorite cousin Laras… and Fadhlan, and Wa Ibu… they seems happy to meet us…wa Willy's house is in the suburb of London called Putney (near Wimbledon Tennis stadium) and near home of Fulham soccer team, it’s a new house with 3 storeys and 5 bed rooms…the land is not that big but the space is so spacious and efficient… I love it.. I want to rebuild our house like that…the color is off white and all the bed sheets are white… it was really cold liv….London here we come... Gotta go liv… next time I’ll tell you the trip and experience in London. I wish you came with us

Hugs and kisses
Ayah dicky…

Happy birthday Mommy....

2007-11-15T21:53:00.000+07:00

Dearest Libby,
hi hunny...today is Monday, November 5, 2007 at 23.10 pm.. I'm in Manila again, staying in The Peninsula Hotel in Ayala Ave. near Glorietta mall (i have never stayed in this hotel before although almost once a month I go to Manila)... i arrived in Manila yesterday afternoon from Singapore. Mommy and I splitted up in the Changi airport. I feel pity for mommy since today is her birthday while I have to be away from her. I gave her the present when we were in Singapore and told her not to open the gift until today since it's a bad omen to open the birthday present before it's time (is it ???). So I called her in the morning to say birthday wishes to her. She seems like the present that I gave her... it's a heart shape pendant with diamond (small ones,..he he he) and some precious gems in it... glad that she like it. Birthday is never a big deal for us but still I want to show my love for her, and to be honest it's been a while since I wrapped my present for her birthday (or in fact for any occassion lately). After a while I just let her choose whatever she wanted and bought it there and then ask her to have dinner in the restaurant that she choose. but apparently small thing like wrapping the present in the nice wrap means something for her. she really like the small detail that i add into it.. I think I need to do more of that..
so, about this birthday thing, what i learned is not the price of the gift or how fancy is the restaurant that matter for her but really the attention and small detail that really show how much i love her that matter most...
i'm sleepy liv... did you send your birthday wishes to mommy ??
kisses and hugs
ayah dicky
Happy birthday my big hunny...wishing you all the best in life...

love too much.... or worry too much ???

2007-11-15T21:48:00.000+07:00

Dearest Libby,
What’s up hunny ?? Today is Saturday, November 3, 2007…today is the first time mommy and daddy are away from Adelle and Aliyya. We’re in JW Mariott Singapore(which is located on the above of Tang’s) and just across of Isetan/ Borders. It is intentionally mommy and daddy left Adelle and Aliyya with uti since we want to see whether Aliyya can be left by mommy…you know Aliyya is very close with mommy so she can be left even for couple of hours by mommy, while Adelle is already a big girl and she’s very much independent so we are not that worry about her. As I have told you earlier next week we are going to London and Paris for a week, I’m afraid Aliyya will be having trouble being left home. So for the past few days we have been brainwashing Aliyya that we are going to Singapore without her… we kept telling her that she’s a big girl too now that she’s very smart and independent so she shouldn’t be crying when mommy is not around her. And you know Aliyya is such a proud girl, she likes to be praised and always wants to be the best. So apparently our strategy works and Aliyya agreed to be with uti for the whole weekend as long as she can go to Bandung with uti to play in BSM. Now the big day came for her this morning when we had to leave using the taxi.Adelle and Aliyya was in the garage with uti waving good bye to us. Adelle kissed us goodbye and just waved to us, as we have predicted Adelle can easily take this. Aliyya also wanted to show her bravery she said “Bye mommy.. bye daddy, I love you…” and I saw her eyes started to watery as if she’s holding a cry….Actually it’s harder for me to leave Aliyya than mommy… I was starting to feel pity for her, but mommy kept saying to me “ udah nggak apa-apa.. she‘s okay !!” I know she’s okay, I just feel sorry for her…ayah nggak tega ninggalin dia…. You know me liv… I’m such a crying baby… anyway, finally we left her with uti, and I’m trying hard not to think too much about it… you know something I realize that I worry too much for my daughters’ well being… it’s like a paranoia.. I told mommy I don’t know what will I do if I have to send them abroad when they have to go to college or may be even high school… I could end up crying everyday. I guess I love my daughters too much… or may be i'm worry too much ?? i don't know...
Love you always liv…
Ayah dicky

Till we meet again...

2007-10-28T21:20:00.000+07:00

Dearest Libby, my hunny...
hi Libby, kita baru say goodbye ke keluarga wa willy yang sudah permanently pindahan ke london... nini, aki, semua adik-adik ayah, kakak-kakaknya wa ibu pada datang untuk nganterin wa willy pergi.. ayah sama mommy nggak nganterin ke airport walau semuanya pada nganter ke airport.. tokh nggak ada bedanya juga saying goodbye di airport dan di rumah...
waktu pamitan, tentunya semua sedih lah ya... knowing wa willy dan keluarga paling nggak akan cukup lama nggak ketemu sama kita. tapi ada yang bikin ayah sampe nangis... Adelle nangis sambil bilang sama ayah "Dad...I don't have friend anymore... siapa yang bakal nemenin aku ?" kasian adelle...mungkin kamu tahu bahwa adelle sekarang cukup dekat dengan teh laras walau pun kedekatan nya nggak sedeket kamu dengan laras... ayah nggak tahu akan kayak apa sedihnya kamu kalau kamu masih ada...kamu dan teh laras kan udah seperti sendok & garpu... nggak bisa dipisahin, selalu sama-sama, main sama-sama, belajar sama-sama, baju pengen samaan, sepatu pengen samaan...ayah nangis inget kamu... ayah kasihan sama adelle yang memang bakal nggak punya temen deket lagi di rumah karena teh laras lah yang selalu nemenin dia...ayah juga sedih ngebayangin kalau kamu ada...walau pun adelle sebenarnya adalah seorang yang lebih penyendiri tetapi dia suka main dengan teh laras, apalagi teh laras cukup mau membimbing adelle..libby inget nggak kamu suka main sekolah-sekolahan sama ayah dan laras, ayah jadi gurunya dan kamu berdua jadi muridnya... kita juga sering main tebak-tebakan dan simon says
wa willy akan tinggal di sebuah rumah dengan 5 kamar di daerah Putney London..cukup besar ya liv... makanya pertengahan bulan depan ayah mau berkunjung ke rumah wa willy, sekalian nengokin... lumayan kan bisa nebeng di rumah wa willy daripada spend 200 pounds per malam buat hotel di london...mudah-mudahan tahun depan ayah bisa bawa adelle & aliyya nengok teh laras dan fadhlan di london...sekarang sih cuma ayah sama mommy aja yang pergi.
udah dulu ya liv... ayah mau jemput uti dulu..
big hugs & lots of kisses
ayah dicky

Lebaran 1408H

2007-10-21T06:58:00.000+07:00

Dearest Libby..
hi sayangku...maaf ya liv udah lama ayah nggak kirim surat untuk kamu, libby pasti kangen ya sama semua... kita baru aja merayakan lebaran nih liv...seperti biasa kita semua pulang kampung ke bandung. Mommy dan adik-adik kamu udah duluan pulang ke Bandung, seminggu sebelum lebaran karena adik-adik kamu udah liburan sementara ayah belakangan karena ayah nggak cuti terlalu lama. lebaran tahun ini kita nggak ke tasik liv soalnya kata Uu di tasik lagi susah air jadi kita semua cuma ngumpul di rumah aki agus di Bandung aja... libby inget nggak waktu libby umur 2.5 tahun kita semua pergi ke tasik untuk lebaran dan kita semua pergi ke cileuweung, kolam ikan di tengah hutan...libby seneng banget main ke cileuweung, bakar ikan di saung, libby makannya banyak !! padahal biasanya kamu susah makan kalau di rumah..libby udah bisa ngomong bahasa inggris waktu itu sampe-sampe paman-paman ayah kagum sama libby...
ayah ingat libby panggil nenek ayah, Uu hutan, karena rumahnya memang di kampung. eh Uu masih ada lho liv.. nanti bulan desember Uu insya allah akan berulang tahun yang ke 84 tahun, Uu masih sangat sehat (yah walaupun fisiknya semakin melemah) masih bisa pergi jalan kaki ke cileuweung yang sangat terjal dan jauh. beliau juga masih sangat kuat ingatan nya... ayah aja kadang-kadang lupa nama-nama keponakan dari keluarga besar aki tapi Uu bisa ingat nama-nama cicit-cicit nya ... hebat ya liv... Uu masih suka nangis kalau ingat sama libby... mungkin karena ayah adalah cucu kesayangan Uu.. dan Uu selalu bilang sama ayah bahwa hidup memang aneh, mestinya Uu yang meninggal karena waktu Libby pulang ke rumah di surga Uu sudah berumur 79 tahun... kalau kata beliau sudah maghrib...syariatnya sudah tinggal menunggu waktu pulang ke surga juga... tapi yaahh umur manusia memang nggak ada yang tahu ya liv..kecuali Allah SWT.
balik lagi ke cerita lebaran, tahun ini keluarga nini berkumpul di rumah nini di wartawan. semuanya datang, ada keluarga nini tetet, keluarga nini nanay, pokoknya semuanya lah.. wa willy juga kebeneran bisa pulang dari London, jadi cuma aki aja yang nggak ada karena aki lebaran di Mekkah..eh kecuali keluarga Aki Au yang nggak tahu kenapa nggak datang...tentu aja pada datang semua liv karena ayah menyediakan sebuah TV Toshiba Flat untuk diperebutkan dalam festival karaoke... lucu deh ketawa-ketawa..walaupun keluarga nini selalu mengklaim sebagai keluarga artis, keluarga penyanyi tetapi waktu disuruh nyanyi ternyata hanya segelintir aja yang emang bener-bener bisa nyanyi...Bi Tia anaknya Nini Nanay beruntung pulang bawa TV baru itu... alhamdulillah, apalagi kata dia TV di rumahnya kebetulan sudah rusak... kalau rejeki emang nggak kemana-mana ya liv...
libby pasti ingat ya kita semua pergi ke rumah libby... ayah nangis lama banget di sana...ayah inget sama libby... ayah kangeeeeeennnnn banget sama libby.. ayah ngebayangin kalau Libby masih ada libby pasti sudah tamat puasa, libby pasti seneng banget lebaran seperti waktu-waktu kamu masih ada.... kamu seneng banget kalau mau lebaran... ayah ingat kamu insisted untuk beli baju lebaran snow white yang sama dengan teh laras dan kamu pakai barengan teh laras waktu lebaran tahun 2002...ayah masih simpan foto-fotonya lho liv..ayah juga masih ingat kamu seneng banget waktu kita beli paket macdonald untuk kita bagiin ke anak-anak jalanan di malam takbiran di perempatan lingkar selatan dan gatot subroto di bandung tahun 2002... malahan kamu yang selalu minta kita untuk melakukan nya lagi...oh ayah masih sangat ingat liv... makanya ayah nangis laamaaa sekali karena ingat sama libby... kangen banget sama libby..harusnya sekarang ayah punya 3 anak perempuan yang cantik-cantik dan pintar-pintar... kamu sekarang harusnya sudah 9 tahun... kamu pasti sayang banget sama adik-adik kamu...aarrrggghhh.. ayah nangis lagi deh liv...
Bandung panaaas banget liv... ayah tidur sampai buka baju... nggak tahu kenapa, mungkin karena global warming kali ya.. hujan kecil beberapa kali tapi secara umum... puanaas banget dan macet juga sama orang jakarta yang datang ke bandung cuma buat liburan dan jalan-jalan ke FO karena di rumah nggak ada pembantu..
ayah udah balik ke Jakarta di lebaran ketiga karena besok nya harus sudah masuk kerja... eh tahunya masih libur besoknya liv..mommy dan adik-adik kamu pulang ke bandung lagi karena mereka masih liburan dan mereka seneng banget di Bandung karena bisa naik kuda setiap hari...sambil main di supermall. ayah sendirian deh di rumah liv...
kalo ngomongin lebaran.... bagi sebagian besar orang lebaran adalah saat yang dinanti-nantikan.. ada yang sudah nunggu-nunggu pengen bisa makan siang lagi, ada yang nunggu-nunggu dikasih uang sama orangtua atau paman-pamannya, ada yang nunggu-nunggu untuk menjadi seperti orang yang terlahir tanpa dosa, dll.. tapi bagi sebagian orang lebaran adalah sesuatu yang tidak diharapkan kehadirannya, bukan karena benci lebaran nya tetapi karena lebaran adalah waktu-waktu kita untuk berkumpul bersama orang yang kita cintai, dan ketika orang kita cintai itu sudah tidak ada maka lebaran menjadi sesuatu yang sangat pahit dan getir untuk dihadapi... ada beberapa teman ayah yang tahun ini menghadapi lebaran pertama tanpa kehadiran orang yang mereka kasihi...tentunya lebaran menjadi sangat berat untuk mereka. Berat jangankan untuk orang yang baru pertama menghadapi lebaran tanpa kehadiran orang yang dicintainya , bahkan untuk ayah yang menghadapi lebaran ke empat tanpa kamu masih sangat berat...pengen nya ayah masih bisa berkumpul, ketawa-ketawa sama kamu... ayah masih sangat ingat bagaimana kamu berjalan, tertawa, duduk,... ayah masih sangat ingat pelukan kamu... ayah pengen meluk kamu liv !!!

udah dulu ya liv, ayah mau beliin mommy kacamata.. kacamatanya dipatahin sama aliyya..

Taqabalallahu Minna Wa Minkum Syiamana Wa Syiamakum...mohon maaf lahir batin ya liv, ayah suka bikin libby kesel, ayah suka marahin libby, ayah suka nggak mau main sama libby, ayah nggak bisa mengurus libby dengan baik...I wish I could say this to you in person..

big hugs and lots of kisses...
ayah dicky

Got a problem??

2007-10-04T20:59:00.000+07:00

Dear Libby...
how are you doin honey ku ?? we are stilll fasting liv....but next week we are going to have lebaran already. Adelle and Aliyya will have their holiday starting next monday. while i will take my leave on Friday. lebaran will be on Saturday i believe....some say that lebaran will fall on Friday... well, we're just gonna follow the majority or whenever goverment decide. I don't think we need to get involve in the debate on when should the lebaran be...wallahu alam bisawab. Aki is in Mekkah for umrah and wa Willy is already in London so I guess, this will be one of the less merry lebaran for us... I will be the imam in aki house because i'm gonna be the eldest in the family during lebaran day... it's sad considering in almost all lebaran we are always together...

anyway, tonight I would like to talk with you about problem. I believe every human being in the world has ever faced with problems (noticed the "s"). even, since human being is in womb, sometime they already have faced some problems, problems of malnutrition, problems of sickness, etc. so for a human not facing a problem is really an illusion...it's almost impossible, if not impossible at all. I believe problems come in different types, different shapes,and different size, sometime all of those attributes are actually seen differently from person to person. some people see one problem as a huge problem but for others, the very same problem might be seen as nothing...even they could see that as not a problem at all.

so the question is how to face a problem ?? well, you could find many theories on problem solving...but i trully believe that there is no magic solution to a problem. in fact, i don't believe that there's an exactly the same problem in the world, there must be differences in every problem. there are so many variables in the world that can make similar problem become different. therefore I don't believe that there is a magic solution to a problem.. at the end, human being still need to use their brain, and sometime their guts to solve the problem. now for me, to solve a problem we have to really understand what is the problem that we are facing. what is the real problem.. sometime of often time human being just jump into trying to solve the problem without trying to know or understand the real problem, which of course wrong solution to wrong problem will give wrong result. That's why, when we feel that we are facing a problem (assuming there is one)...what we need to do is really, to sitback, reflect and try to understand the problem we are facing, of course with clear mind.. oh ya, often time we are facing a problem with emotional mind which block us from thinking clearly when trying to understand the problem and find a solution.

we will always face problems along the way of our path of life... what can enlarge the possibility of finding the best solutions to a problem is to really understand the problem itself, sit back,
reflect, and use clear mind.. not an emotional ones..sound like theory.. may be..

miss you much liv....

lots of hugs and kisses
daddy

I believe....

2007-09-20T19:49:00.000+07:00

Dear Libby,

how are you doing liv... been a while ya... lagi puasa nih liv... kalau kamu ada pasti kamu excited ikut puasa, pergi taraweh ke mesjid sama laras..waktu kamu masih ada, kamu udah mulai ikutan puasa walaupun masih puasa 'ayakan' kalau kata orang sunda... masih bolong-bolong.. berkaitan dengan puasa ini, ayah beberapa hari ke belakang berdiskusi cukup panjang dengan beberapa teman mengenai agama... ayah memang bukan ahli agama, apalagi ustad, jadi diskusi yang terjadi pun lebih merupakan pelajaran juga bagi ayah untuk lebih belajar mengenai agama... satu diskusi mengenai jilbab dengan teman ayah yang sedang berpikir keras untuk memakai jilbab, tetapi diskusi berkembang kepada hal-hal lain dalam pemahaman keagamaan. Dalam hal jilbab ini memang ada dua school of thought dalam agama kita, yang satu mengatakan bahwa wajib hukumnya mengenakan jilbab tetapi ada pendapat lain yang menyatakan bahwa tidak wajib mengenakan jilbab bagi wanita karena tidak ada perintah yang jelas baik dalam Quran maupun hadits yang menyatakan bahwa jilbab adalah suatu hal yang wajib. . sementara teman ayah yang lain sedang kebingungan juga dengan permintaan dari ibunya untuk memasuki sebuah organisasi keagamaan yang juga sedang dipertentangkan (ada yang bilang organisasi keagamaan tersebut sesat sementara yang lain mengatakan bahwa organisasi tsb tidak ada bedanya dengan organisasi-organisasi yang lain yang memiliki pandangan tertentu.

Ayah sendiri dengan segala keterbatasan tidak bisa mengatakan yang mana yang betul dan mana yang salah dalam kedua hal di atas... hanya saja yang ayah katakan kepada mereka berdua bahwa bagi ayah agama adalah sesuatu yang sangat personal, sangat private. sesuatu yang berkaitan antara diri kita dan Allah SWT. Menurut ayah, akan sangat baik ketika seseorang melakukan sesuatu yang berkaitan dengan agama selalu didasari oleh hati kita yang memerintahkan bukan external pressure. Misalnya untuk teman ayah yang sedang bimbang untuk pakai jilbab atau tidak, ayah katakan bahwa ayah bisa membawa setumpuk dasar-dasar dan dalil-dalil yang menyatakan bahwa jilbab adalah wajib atau tidak, tetapi itu semua menurut ayah tidak penting jika yang bersangkutan masih meragukan apalagi pakai jilbab hanya karena ada external pressure (tekanan dari luar) seperti ingin dipuji, takut dicibir orang, takut dikatain,takut dimarahi, dll... ayah bilang jika hatinya sudah menyatakan bahwa inilah saatnya pakai jilbab, maka tinggal pakai saja karena hatilah yang akhirnya paling menentukan. Percuma dia pakai jilbab kalau tidak meyakini, atau bahkan pakai jilbab tapi tidak bertingkah seperti yang seharusnya. Karena jilbab hanya merupakan sebuah tampilan luar saja, yang paling penting adalah apa yang dilakukan dan diyakininya. Demikian pula hal yang sama ayah katakan kepada teman ayah yang sedang berpikir untuk masuk organisasi keagamaan tadi. Kita memang harus mempelajari banyak hal terutama dalam hal keagamaan karena pengetahuan kita yang banyak akan dapat membantu hati menentukan hal yang menurut hati kita paling benar. Tetapi yang paling penting adalah hati kita mempercayai dan meyakini apa yang kita lakukan adalah memang yang benar dan bukan karena tekanan dari luar. Hati nggak akan pernah bisa kita bohongi. Kita bisa melakukan sesuatu agar terlihat dari luar seperti yang diharapkan tetapi hati kita tidak akan bisa dibohongi bahwa kita melakukan hal tersebut adalah karena terpaksa (apa pun motifnya...). tokh akhirnya kita sendiri lah nanti yang akan mempertanggungjawabkan perbuatan dan kelakuan kita di depan Allah SWT...

nggak tahu ah liv.... ayah cuma ingin berusaha untuk beribadah dan beragama itu hanya karena Allah SWT bukan karena siapa pun atau apa pun...

love you always
ayah dicky

Letter from Adelle

2007-09-13T19:42:00.000+07:00

Dear libby,
this is me Adelle.Later, Laras is going to England.And we've got a new sister name Aliyya.I wish that we could see each others.And long time I had a dream about you.The dream is you are playing with me . And Aliyya is sleeping with mommy .I wish that you'll see the new sofa and table.

kisses and hugs
Adelle

To My Children

2007-09-12T09:30:00.000+07:00

Dear Libby
eci send me a nice poem, liv...too bad I don't know who wrote it. it's something about being grateful on having kids and really cherish the time that we have with them..

To My Children

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning,
I am going to step over the laundry and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink,and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, Or second guess every decision I have made where you are concern ed.

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon,
I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening
when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, The mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms.

The mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.

It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day.........

If only I could have that one more day with you liv.... just if only...

hugs and kisses
ayah dicky

To Mommy from heaven

2007-09-12T08:01:00.000+07:00

Hi Libby,
I found this lovely poem in the internet. I guess this would be similar to what you want to say to mommy...

To Mommy From Heaven (by Sandra L. Garman)

Mommy, don't cry, 'cause God is holding my hand

and telling me everything is OK.

Mommy, God said that I will never want for anything

and I will still feel your love all the way up here.

Mommy, you should see me,

I am running and playing with God's other children.

Mommy, guess who helps watch over us while we play?

They are God's Helping Angels!

Mommy, I'm not afraid, my grandpa and grandma are here.

They came to me when it was dark and held my hands;

then we went to God's bright light, where Angels were singing.

Mommy, God said, If you feel sad, to remember this;

I'll be the gentle breeze that brushes your face,

the sun is my smile and the rain is me washing away your pain.

Mommy, I have to go now.

I send you all my love on the wings of an Angel.

Love from your son, to you Mommy.

we still miss you liv, just the other night mommy cried while I was already sleeping... help her libby...tell her how you feel.. we will always love you...

lots of loves

ayah dicky

What goes up must come down...

2007-09-09T08:18:00.000+07:00

Dear Libby
How was your Saturday night liv ? what did you do in heaven on Saturday night ? hari minggu nih Liv, biasa masih males-malesan, belum pada mandi, ayah udah langsung ke depan laptop bikin surat untuk kamu.
Ayah sedang ingat sama orang-orang yang saat ini sedang bersedih,minggu lalu ayahnya Oom Bombom meninggal dunia keliatannya dia sedih walaupun cukup tabah waktu ayah telepon (pastilah sedih ya liv ditinggal orang yang dicintai). ayah cuma ingin ngingetin bahwa setelah kesedihan pasti ada kebahagiaan, tetapi sebaliknya juga, setelah kebahagiaan pasti ada kesedihan. Makanya, ketika orang sedang tertawa terbahak-bahak dia musti ingat untuk membatasi diri karena suatu saat dia pasti akan menangis tersedu-sedu..sebaliknya orang yang sedang menangis tersedu-sedu sebaiknya jangan terlalu bersedih karena suatu saat pasti ada masa membahagiakan yang bisa membuat dia tertawa.
Hidup memang seperti roda yang selalu bergerak kadang kita di atas, kadang kita di bawah, kadang kita bahagia, kadang kita sedih. Ada pepatah bule yang bunyi “What goes up must come down” yang artinya kita tidak akan pernah bisa selalu berada di atas, kita tidak akan pernah bisa selalu bahagia. Ada lagi pepatah yang mengatakan bahwa setelah tanjakan pasti akan ada turunan, tidak mungkin tidak. Seperti kita sedang naik gunung, pasti suatu saat pasti kita harus turun, segimana pun kita senangnya berada di puncak gunung suatu saat kan kita harus turun juga dari puncak gunung. Seperti ketika kamu naik pesawat, naik ke atas, suatu saat kan harus turun dan mendarat juga....so nggak ada yang permanen di atas dan nggak ada yang permanen di bawah cuma kadang kadang kita nggak merasa kita sudah di atas, yang sering kan kita ngerasa nya masiiih di bawah terus...nggak ke atas-keatas..
Pepatah-pepatah itu menyadarkan kita untuk selalu sadar bahwa kehidupan itu kadang ada di atas dan kadang di bawah. Yang paling penting adalah kita harus tahu apa yang harus dilakukan ketika sedang di atas, yaitu bersyukur dan apa yang harus dilakukan ketika sedang di bawah, yaitu bersabar.

Still and will still miss you…

Ayah dicky

Most beautiful 10 years

2007-09-08T15:19:00.000+07:00

Hi sweetheart !
How have you been, honey ?? been long time since the last time I send a letter to you... I have just had a chat with Tante olla and Oom Mono, liv.. I’m sure you remember Tante Olla ya ? we went to Veda’s birthday in Bandung long time ago and occasionally we met tante Olla’s family. They were telling me that they just had their 10th years wedding anniversary and they’re planning to go for a second honeymoon…. Really nice ya, liv. Mommy and I, have never had a honeymoon (at least an official one, he he he) since I have to start working in Unilever right away from the marriage day. Really good to see that tante olla’s family seems still very much happy after 10 years of marriage…
That chat reminded me of my marriage. mommy and I also had married for more than 10 years (unfortunately we didn’t really celebrate our 10th anniversary, on December 7, 2006, shame on me !!). But I feel really blessed with our marriage, I have a beautiful wife that always supporting me whenever, wherever.I’m also blessed with one beautiful angel and two beautiful princesses. Mommy is the best wife a man can have… she’s been supporting me for better and for worse, she’s always there beside me. I remember when we started our family, I was just a management trainee in Unilever, I didn’t have anything at that time. I was sent to Surabaya for my traineeship. I asked mommy to come along to Surabaya and left her work in Bank Universal. Without complain mommy accompanied me wherever I was stationed, even in Probolinggo where we had to stay in 2X3 rooms (kamar kos) for three months, stayed in small dark hotel room in Pamekasan Madura during puasa for two weeks. All we had at that time was lots of love and an old company car, Katana, without air cond and radio tape… every weekend we went to Surabaya, in a hot temperature without air cond, without music…so we always singing together all the way to Surabaya from Probolinggo in sweat running all over our body… ha ha ha…she never complain despite she come from much more fortunate family than me knowing her dad is a general in the army…she also the one who kept me alive when you left us and went home to heaven, liv…. she was very-very strong and continuously reminded me that life must go on that I still have adelle to take care and develop…without her I’d be already buried somewhere by now.
During our 10 years marriage of course there are fights among us, but it’s very-very minor and we never keep our fight more than 3 days…I guess the key to our relationship is we take and give, we compromise, we really try to understand each other. We are grateful for what we have. For some people 10 years may be is still a short period of time or for some others it may be too long already … but for me, for sure 10 years is still too short, I’m looking forward to having another 50 years of togetherness and happiness. I’m grateful to Allah SWT for sending me the best woman who is the mother of all my children and develop them into beautiful children. (Thank you shaney for the most beautiful 10 years….)
Gotta go liv, we’ll talk again later okay
Loves
Ayah dicky

Perpisahan

2007-09-08T15:17:00.000+07:00

Dear Sweetheart,
Selamat malam my dear…Apa kabar, liv ? baru tiga hari yang lalu ayah kirim surat untuk kamu, tapi rasanya kok ayah udah kangen lagi ya liv...nggak tahu nih, tiba-tiba ayah kepikiran ingin nulis ke kamu mengenai perpisahan. Sebuah perpisahan bisa terjadi untuk selamanya atau untuk sementara… yang pasti sesuatu yang bermula pasti berakhir (something with the beginning must have an end)… sebuah pertemuan pasti ada perpisahannya… ini adalah merupakan hukum alam… sesuatu yang inevitable. Sesuatu yang tidak bisa ditolak, seberapa pun kuatnya kita berusaha… ayah sudah mengalami perpisahan yang paling berat untuk ayah, perpisahan dengan kamu… mustinya dari awal ayah sudah menyadari bahwa pertemuan pertama dengan kamu pada tanggal 25 April 1998 jam 00.19 am, suatu saat pasti ada perpisahannya… ayah sama sekali tidak menyadari hal itu sampai waktu perpisahan tersebut datang pada tanggal 29 April 2003 jam 10.15 am.

Banyak pertemuan dan perpisahan yang sudah ayah alami dalam hidup ayah yang masih singkat ini liv… yang namanya perpisahan tidak selalu merupakan akhir memang, karena dalam banyak hal, perpisahan itu hanya merupakan sesuatu yang sementara…mungkin ada pertemuan lagi di waktu yang lain… who knows.. nobody knows… contohnya kita bertemu dengan sahabat waktu sekolah, ketika sekolah selesai, mau tidak mau kita akan berpisah.. mungkin untuk sementara, mungkin untuk selamanya..mungkin kita bertemu lagi, mungkin tidak pernah bertemu lagi untuk selamanya dengan sahabat kita tersebut… nobody knows…tapi perpisahan itu pasti akan terjadi..pasti !!
Wa willy, dan keluarganya akan pindah ke London, pastinya ketika hal itu terjadi merupakan perpisahan untuk keluarga kita dengan keluarga dia, perpisahan kamu dengan laras… mungkin kita akan bertemu lagi, mungkin tidak…mudah-mudahan kita bisa bertemu lagi dengan mereka.. sedih ?? pasti lah…biasanya kita sering ketemu, sering ngobrol, sering curhat, sering main, dll, tiba-tiba tidak ada di sekitar kita.. pasti sedih kan…. Bahkan ketika kita berpisah dengan teman saja sedihnya bisa luar biasa...

Yang sangat menakutkan untuk ayah adalah kita tidak akan pernah tahu kapan perpisahan itu akan terjadi…kita juga tidak akan pernah tahu apakah kita akan bertemu lagi atau tidak…ayah sangat takut untuk menghadapi perpisahan dengan mommy, perpisahan dengan adelle, perpisahan dengan aliyya, perpisahan dengan aki, dengan nini, dengan saudara-saudara, dengan teman-teman, dengan sahabat.... namun, sekuat apa pun kita berusaha untuk mencegah, perpisahan itu pasti akan datang juga.. kita cuma tidak tahu kapan akan terjadi atau bagaimana itu akan terjadi... ayah cuma bisa berdoa bahwa pertemuan ini bisa berlangsung lama. Dan selama pertemuan ini masih ada, ayah akan mensyukurinya, akan berusaha menikmatinya dengan sepenuh hati, I will really cherish it,...because when it happened.. ketika perpisahan itu harus terjadi juga, kita tidak akan bisa menghalanginya , kita tidak pernah tahu apakah kita akan bisa bertemu lagi...will things be the same when we meet again ?? or before that, will we meet again ?? we don’t know.
Setelah ayah berpisah dengan kamu, paling tidak ayah sekarang sadar bahwa perpisahan dalam setiap pertemuan pasti akan terjadi.... pasti !! suatu saat....tidak tahu kapan, tidak tahu bagaimana...ayah berdoa sekarang untuk bisa selama mungkin bertemu, berkumpul, berteman,..tapi ketika perpisahan itu terjadi, ayah berdoa agar ayah diberi kesabaran untuk menghadapinya karena life must go on.... sedih ?? pasti, but I have to get up and continue living, karena ayah sadar bahwa perpisahan pasti terjadi dalam sebuah pertemuan...ayah juga berharap siapa pun yang membaca surat ayah ini menyadari bahwa setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahannya.... so, be grateful, enjoy it, cherish it, while it lasts... cause the end will inevitably come…sooner or later

See you again, Libby…. someday, somewhere, somehow…Nggak tahu, liv… I really don’t know….

Lots of loves
Ayah dicky

Logika vs Perasaan

2007-09-08T15:15:00.001+07:00

Hi my dear Libby,
Kita baru pulang dari plaza senayan… tempat yang hampir setiap weekend kita kunjungi…kayaknya nggak ada bosen-bosennya ya kita ke sana… apalagi sekarang tinggal nyebrang ke Senayan City kalau bosen di plaza Senayan… seperti biasa juga kita makan di salah satu restoran yang ada di sana (atau di food court) , belakangan ini Aliyya selalu pengen ke Pepper Lunch kalau kita ke plaza senayan, dia seneng banget sama salmon steaknya…padahal mommy pengennya makan di duck king..ya udah deh mungkin ayah sama mommy ke duck king nya minggu depan aja waktu lunch…

Ada temen ayah yang bilang bahwa dia sangat percaya dengan logika (logic)/ realita, cuma kok bagi ayah susah banget untuk hanya pake logika… bagi ayah logika memang penting karena kita bisa lebih membumi, tapi seringkali ayah masih lebih sering juga dipengaruhi oleh perasaan (feeling). Ayah nggak bisa bohong bahwa segimana pun ayah berusaha untuk memahami logikanya, ada perasaan (feeling) yang nggak bisa dibohongi. Jadi ya akhirnya nggak bisa tuh sepenuhnya ayah menggunakan logika ketika menghadapi berbagai persoalan hidup… mungkin belum bisa, atau belum nyampe kali ilmu nya ayah ya, liv…. misalnya dalam menghadapi kepergian kamu, memang sih secara logika banyak yang bisa dianalisis, tapi kalau ayah cuma pakai logika.. mungkin by this time ayah udah nggak bakal ada di dunia lagi… udah mati bunuh diri… justru ayah bisa terus hidup karena ayah coba untuk berpikir di luar logika bahwa ada sesuatu kekuatan (kekuatan Allah SWT) yang memang dengan kemampuan berpikir kita tidak mampu untuk sampe kesana untuk menjelaskan kenapa kamu harus pergi secepat itu. Terus kalau ayah pake logika, sekarang mungkin ayah harus sudah benar-benar menerima kenyataan bahwa kamu sudah tidak ada di sekitar kita lagi secara fisik,.. tapi ayah nggak bisa membohongi perasaan ayah bahwa ayah masih sangat kangen sama kamu, masih sangat berharap agar ayah bisa mencium kamu lagi, memeluk kamu lagi erat-erat, masih ingin mencium wangi kamu, masih sangat berharap bahwa ayah bisa berulang-ulang bilang ayah masih sangaaatt sayaaaang sama kamu, masih ingin denger kamu bilang “ I love you daddy !!” …padahal secara logika… mungkin sudah tidak mungkin… bahkan bukan mungkin… sudah pasti tidak akan bisa lagi…ayah nggak bisa bohong, liv, perasaan ayah nggak bisa dibohongi, segimana pun logika ayah berusaha untuk bilang bahwa nggak mungkin lagi untuk ketemu kamu… ayah menyerah deh sama perasaan (feeling)…
yaaa ayah jadi nangis deh liv… ayah cengeng ya….ayah kangeeeeen banget sama kamu !!

Ayah masih bisa berharap untuk ketemu kamu lagi, liv… kapan pun di mana pun… nggak tahu gimana caranya…

Lots of kisses and big hugs..
Ayah dicky

Friends Forever..

2007-09-08T15:14:00.001+07:00

Dear Libby,
hari minggu nih... baru pada selesai mandi, biasa lah sebentar lagi kita mau jalan-jalan ke mall.... kegiatan setiap weekend... kayaknya kita harus cari kegiatan lain nih liv... pergi ke mall melulu, belanja melulu...ngabisin duit melulu. mommy bilang mancing mungkin lucu juga...tapi ayah nggak suka mancing, nggak kebayang harus nunggu berjam-jam, bengong, nggak ngelakuin apa-apa... dibanding mancing, ya mending belanja... hi hi hi... tapi kayaknya kita memang harus mencari kegiatan lain...nggak bagus juga buat Adelle dan Aliyya kalau selalu ke mall... ngajarin mereka jadi konsumtif.
Ayah lupa jumat lalu, ayah ketemu sama temen-temen lama ayah... temen-temen waktu ayah masih jadi kacung kampret di unilever. temen-temen yang membuat kerjaan kayaknya nggak jadi beban... bawaannya seneng terus... hampir komplit team liv, ada Oom Aryo yang baru balik dari London, Tante Icha yang perutnya gendut banget kayak hamil (eh emang hamil bulan ke 8 kali ya ??), ada Oom Bondan yang sekarang kerja di Effem (udah jadi GM lho liv..), Oom Abdul yang sekarang nyambi jadi penyanyi professional, yang nggak ada cuma Oom Jo yang sekarang kerja di Aussie, ketambahan Wa Willy sih... dulu hampir setiap hari kita makan siang bareng... keliling dari satu restoran ke restoran lain, dari satu warung ke warung lain....kadang-kadang kita kabur dari kantor buat nonton di Planet Hollywood yang letaknya di sebelah kantor... seru banget deh...sekarang kita udah tua-tua, tapi nggak tahu kenapa begitu ketemu mereka, jadi berasa muda lagi... ketawa-ketawa kayak orang gila, nyanyi nggak karu-karuan... teriak-teriak sampe serak...abis belum apa-apa lagunya udah Linkin Park (dari mulai Numb, Somewhere I belong, sampe In the end)....seru deh !! belum lagi kalau liat oom aryo nyanyi lagu heavy metal, kayak Master of Puppet-nya Metalica.... sampe urat lehernya keliatan semua..
satu hal yang menyadarkan ayah adalah bahwa kita akan selalu butuh teman, butuh teman yang bisa membuat kita ketawa, butuh teman yang selalu memperhatikan kita, teman yang selalu ada di samping kita di saat gembira maupun sedih..teman yang mau mendengarkan curhatan nggak penting ...atau malah teman yang menolong kita di saat kita terlibat masalah (bener nggak, cha ??). Ayah bersyukur masih punya teman-teman yang tulus untuk menjadi sahabat tanpa ada pretensi, tanpa ada harapan imbal balik. ayah juga berharap agar teman-teman ayah juga merasakan hal yang sama waktu berteman dengan ayah... ayah berharap agar ayah bisa menjadi teman yang bisa membuat tertawa, membuat bahagia, menolong pada saat susah, dan lain lain, sampai kapan pun....friends forever !!
ayah tahu bahwa akan selalu menjadi teman untuk kamu libby.... sebaliknya pula kamu akan selalu menemani ayah kemana pun ayah pergi karena kamu ada di dalam hati ayah...
cium sayang, your bestest best friend...
ayah dicky

Alhamdulillah

2007-09-08T15:13:00.000+07:00

Hi sayangku...
hari sabtu pagi nih liv, mommy sedang pergi ke seminar yang diadain sama Tigaraksa... ceritanya dia jadi pembicara di sana.. hebat ya mommy... katanya sih dia disuruh share pengalaman membesarkan anak-anak dengan buku dan gimana caranya ngajarin anak-anak baca dan berbicara dengan bahasa inggris.... ayah di rumah disuruh jagain adelle sama aliyya... eh adik-adik kamu malah main ke rumah laras... ya terang aja di sana lebih fun kali ya buat mereka...
rumah berasa sepi banget ya kalau nggak ada siapa-siapa... biasanya ribut sama suara aliyya yang kayaknya nggak bisa berenti ngomong.... cerewet banget deh dia liv.. lebih-lebih dari kamu cerewetnya...
di kesepian pagi ini sambil ditemenin sama kopi dan music dari ipod.. ayah merenung dan liat ke sekeliling... di rumah... ayah makin sadar bahwa ayah patut bersyukur sama Allah SWT... ayah sudah diberi nikmat yang luar biasa....kayaknya dulu waktu ayah SMA atau bahkan waktu kuliah nggak kebayang deh bisa punya semua ini... ayah kan bukan lahir dari keluarga kaya liv... kamu tahu sendiri walaupun aki dan nini nggak kekurangan secara materi tapi juga yang nggak punya harta berlebih-lebihan... ayah, wa willy semuanya merangkak sendiri-sendiri..aki dan nini cuma kasih ilmu dan kasih sayang untuk kita semua (sesuatu yang ayah syukuri jauh dibandingkan dengan harta apa pun yang mungkin bisa diberikan oleh beliau). sekarang ayah sudah punya semua yang dulu tidak pernah terpikirkan... ayah punya mommy yang cantik dan baik luar biasa, anak-anak yang cantik dan pintar, materi yang cukup, pekerjaan yang baik, dll...secara materi memang ayah tidak kaya tetapi ya cukup aja... cukup buat beli jam rolex, jas hugo boss, mobil mercedes,beliin mommy berlian, beliin tas LV, buat berlibur ke luar negeri,dll.... he he he...
kalau dipikir lebih jauh... kayaknya emang harusnya kita habis-habisnya bersyukur sama Allah SWT. bahkan kadang-kadang kita take it for granted hal-hal yang kayak sepele padahal luar biasa kalau kita tidak memiliki lagi... contohnya kita suka tidak sadar bahwa hal kecil seperti pipis aja sebenernya sangat patut untuk disyukuri.. coba kalau kita nggak bisa pipis dua hari aja.. pasti sakit banget... kita masih diberi kemampuan untuk bicara, melihat, merasakan, berjalan, dll.. sesuatu yang sepertinya sangat-sangat biasa padahal kalau kita kehilangan hal-hal tersebut bagaimana tersiksanya kita... tapi memang manusia tidak pandai bersyukur ya liv.. makanya Allah SWT berulang-ulang di surat Ar Rahman bertanya kepada manusia, nikmat Allah mana lagi yang kita dustakan...
(Alhamdulillah ya Allah atas semua nikmat yang telah kau berikan untuk kami semua...)
semoga ayah bisa terus mensyukuri apa yang telah diberikan oleh Allah SWT kepada kita semua...
ayah pergi dulu ya liv... biasa, mau bawa adelle dan aliyya jalan-jalan... aliyya lagi seneeeeng banget sama Frapuccino Caramel-nya starbuck... masa anak kecil udah seneng sama starbuck ya liv....
bye hunny... talk to you again later, okay...
ayah dicky

Life is Full of Choices

2007-09-08T15:12:00.000+07:00

Hi darling…
today tante amy is having her birthday… we are still in sol elite marbela anyer and we all forgot, ha ha ha… she started to sing happy birthday for herself…. Just then everybody gave her birthday wishes… today we still hang out in the beach… played all day in the beach and the swimming pool…. You must know that we don’t have anything else to do in Anyer beside playing in the beach and the swimming pool… I was gonna get my temporary tattoos but I couldn’t find design of Bango bird with Tagline “Benar-Benar Kecap”… he he he… I remember when we were in Bali and I was gonna get a tattoo.. you protested and said that tattoo doesn’t look good in me… may be you right, liv…

Today I want to talk about “choices”… I really believe that life if full of choices, we just have to know the consequences for every choice….so we can make a conscious choice rather than just choosing things that we don’t know…. We can choose to feel sad, or to feel happy…. Nothing stopping you if you wanna be happy…. or even if you choose to be sad… it’s true that Allah SWT has the final decision for the outcomes of choices that we have made… but often time we can already predict what the outcomes will be… here are the examples..if you choose to eat properly, exercise regularly.. the most probable outcome is that you will be healthy (it’s true that Allah SWT might not give you health although you have eaten properly and do exercise, but in most cases Allah SWT usually will). If you study hard, most probable outcome that you will be smarter. Lance Amstrong once said “The more I practice, the luckier I get”… If you choose to drive recklessly there’s a big chance that the consequences are you’ll get accidents.see, most of the time people can already predict what will be the outcome or consequences of their choices… once again I don’t deny that Allah SWT still hold to he final outcome deemed best for us according to Him/Her.. but in many (if not most cases) we can already predict the outcomes. Therefore ,I don’t really believe when Forrest Gump said that “Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you’re gonna get”. It’s true that God will decide for us and we don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future.. but actually we have the choice to make up the future… if we take a box of chocolate as an analogy… we can still choose what box of chocolate are we getting, after we get the box of chocolate we still can choose which one to be eaten first, which one last. If we choose dark chocolate then we know that the most probable outcome is the chocolate will be a bit bitter compared to regular one…

This apply to anything in life, who said that we can’t shape our future ?? we can (although we have to accept that Allah SWT still knows what’s best for us). We can choose to become rich people by working really hard, really smart, we can choose to be smart guy by learning hard..

Got my point liv ?? as now, I can choose to let you go and try to forget you… but I choose to keep your memory intact in my mind… I like it…I know the consequences would be I might often be sad …. But that’s okay..I have chosen and I know the consequences…

I have chosen to continue loving you…
Ayah dicky..

Tribute to full time mom

2007-09-08T15:10:00.001+07:00

Dearest Libby my hunny...
How’s the weather in heaven ?? I’m sure the weather is always nice, warm,& sunny ya , Liv? Or is it changeable as you wish ?? weather in Jakarta has started to rain again…
Last week on the way from Durban to Johannesburg , I have a long discussion with my friend from Philippines , her name is Joko (lucu ya namanya kayak orang Jawa… padahal nama lengkapnya Jo Katherine Ko) on working and non working woman. The conversation started with me telling her, how grateful I am as a person, as a husband, & as a father. (I really am Liv.. I think Allah SWT has granted me so much to me…). Earlier in the meeting room, Joko saw my wallpaper on the computer which has pictures of you, Adelle, and Aliyya… what can you do.. I’m a proud dad… She said that I have three very pretty princesses. I told her about you and she was so sorry to hear that, although she has slightly known the story from somebody else. Then the discussion went on to a topic on working and non working woman/mom…. I told her that mommy stop working when she got married to me…it’s her conscious decision to stop working to devote herself to us. I told Joko that mommy is actually much smarter than me, so the decision to stop working was really a big sacrifice for her. However, it’s not like I asked her to stop working. We discussed on what are the risks and benefits of her working. Which eventually came to conclusion that it will be better for all of us if she stop working and really devote her time for us (lebih besar mudharat daripada manfaat if she continued working). I told Joko that I really appreciate mommy’s decision and sacrifice. I never undermine her of not working and leaving me to become the only breadwinner for the family. In fact, I believe what mommy’s doing in day to day is much harder, more noble, and tiring compared to what I do day to day… so in nutshell.. I really respect her so much for what she does…don’t get me wrong, Liv, I also respect and admire mom who is working and can balance between work and family… however in my case, I put higher respect for non working mom (like mommy), reason being apart from what I have mentioned above, full time housewife is really a tough job !! she’s sacrificing her own ego, sacrificing her ambition, not to mention 24 hours handling domestic issues (including hassle to feed the children, taking care the children, ensuring children’s well being, health etc) is really a hard and tough job. No wonder, many full time mom is actually more stressful than working mom…(isn’t it ???).
So therefore liv, I want to say to all fulltime housewife/ mom reading this love letter…be proud of yourself !! you contribute much more (if not the most) to the family.. you deserve a recognition (or rewards if possible, right liv ?)
Gotta go liv… I’m a bit hungry…have you eaten yet ?? I wonder what you eat in heaven… let me know my darling…

Lots of kisses and big hugs
Ayah dicky

By the River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept

2007-09-08T15:09:00.001+07:00

Hi Sweetie,
Lagi ngapain my angel ?? ayah lagi di manila nih, liv…udah tiga hari di sini…ada Regional Brand Team meeting SCC…tapi besok juga udah pulang ke Jakarta sih, terus jumatnya kita semua mau ke anyer…ayah inget libby seneng banget main ke anyer.. padahal nggak ada apa-apa di sana… mungkin bagi kamu yang penting ada pantai udah cukup kali ya liv ?? Cuma memang kamu lebih suka Bali sih… walaupun the thrilled pergi ke bali adalah karena bisa naik pesawat kan liv ??

Ayah baru pulang dari Mall nih, liv … nggak beli apa-apa sih… tokh barang-barang di Jakarta juga udah komplit, bahkan mungkin lebih komplit dari manila.. Cuma kamu inget nggak minggu lalu ayah cerita sama kamu bahwa ayah beli buku banyak di Borders Singapore… ternyata setelah ayah bandingkan, harganya jauuuuuh lebih murah di sini, liv…. Ayah beliin Mommy buku Harry Potter The Deathly Hollow, yang di Jakarta harganya 325 ribu, terus di Borders 290rb, eh ternyata di Powerbooks sini cuma 250 ribu.. wah ayah langsung saja borong banyak banget buku… ayah beli buku-buku Blues Clues dan Disneys untuk Aliyya, terus ayah beli buku Roald Dahl lagi untuk Adelle… sambil ayah sendiri beli beberapa buku business dan beli semua buku Paulo Coelho karena muuurrraaah banget deh di sini… (masa buku Paulo Coelho Cuma 50 ribuan).. akibatnya… koper ayah nggak bisa ditutup dan berat banget… belum lagi ayah beli dried mango kesenangan si mommy buanyak banget….susah deh nutup koper nya…ayah juga beli banyak banget DVD original Hi5 kesenengan Aliyya.. di Jakarta nggak ada soalnya…

Oh iya… ayah lagi baca salah satu buku Paulo Coelho yang ayah beli tadi judulnya By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept…ini cuplikan nya nih liv…

By THE RIVER Piedra I sat down and wept. There is a legend that everything that falls into the waters of this river- leaves, insect, the feathers of birds- is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed. If only I could tear out my heart and hurl it into the current, then my pain and longing would be over, and I could finally forget.
By the River Piedra I sat down and wept. The winter air chills the tears on my cheeks, and my tears fall into the cold waters that course past me. Somewhere, the river joins another, then another, until- far from my heart and sight- all of them merge with the sea.
May my tears run just as far, that my love might never know that one day I cried for him. May my tears run just as far, that might forget the River Piedra, the monastery, the church in the Pyrenees, the mists and the pasts we walked together.
I shall forget the roads, the mountains, and the fields of my dreams- the dreams that will never come true.
I remember my “magic moment”- that instant when a “yes” or a “no” can change one’s life forever. It seems so long ago now. It is hard to believe that it was only last week that I had found my love once again, and then lost him.
I am writing this story on the bank of the River Piedra. My hands are freezing, my legs are numb, and every minute I want to stop.
“Seek to live. Remembrance is for the old,” he said.
Perhaps love make us old before time- or young, of youth has passed. But how can I not recall those moments? That is why I write- to try to turn my sadness into longing, solitude into remembrance. So that when I finish telling myself the story, I can toss it to the Piedra. That’s what the woman who has given me shelter told me to do . Only then- in the words of one of the saints- will the water extinguish what the flames have written.

All love stories are the same.

Excerpt from the Book “ By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept” by Paulo Coelho

Bagus banget ya liv… cocok banget sama cerita ayah sekarang ini… my love story with you…nanti kalau ayah udah selesai bacanya ayah cerita sama libby…

Udah dulu ya libby ku sayang… udah jam 23.00 di sini..ayah mau beres-beres dulu, karena besok ayah harus bangun jam 4.30 pagi waktu manila (yang artinya jam 3.30 waktu Jakarta). Mudah-mudahan besok nggak hujan karena tadi pagi di sini hujan nya kenceeeeng banget sama angin sampe banjir di mana-mana…

Big hugs and lots of kisses…you’re still in my dreams, dreams that will never come true..

ayah dicky..

Will time really heal ??

2007-09-08T15:08:00.001+07:00

Hi sweetie..
today I want to discuss with you about a saying " Time will heal" that many people often say to somebody when they try to comfort a person (usually when a person experienced bad things). This saying is also often said to a person who is broken hearted.
in my case, people kept saying this "Time will heal" thing since you went home to heaven. I know they were trying to comfort me, trying to give motivation to continue living. As often I told you, my life felt falling appart when you leave me... so, of course when people said that time will heal, i certainly hope and expect that there's some truth in that saying...I really hope time will pass by quickly and I could continue living without missing you so much...
Now, apparently after you had been gone for about 4 years now, I still miss you a lot !! I still miss your smiles, i still miss your hugs, I still miss your kisses, I even still remember almost every detail of what you usually do when you were still around. I still miss you ssssoooo much... therefore, is there any truth in the saying "Time will heal"... I think when it comes to feeling, especially if it's so much related with love... time will not heal... at least will not totally heal the wound. it will improve your condition but it won't heal your wound.. the wound from time to time will appear to the surface and hurt you... time will help you ease the pain though, but it won't heal... it's like broken porcellain... no matter how good you try to fit it, it won't be the same... the scar has been registered and not even best cosmetic/ plastic surgeon will be able to eliminate the scar (heart scar).
I have read so many books on grief and bereavement and apparently my theory is very much inline (especially for parents losing their children, but I guess my theory is also applied to many type of grief)
gotta go libby...talk to you later

Still and always love you much...
daddy.

Winter in Africa !!

2007-09-08T15:06:00.000+07:00

Hi sweetheart !!
Ayah is in Durban, South Africa now... yesterday I was hanging around in the Changi airport for almost 12 hours...good thing WiFi is free in Business Class Lounge.... had downloaded few good clips from youtube... food was also not bad... not too mention free flow of various drinks... time flew so fast yesterday without realizing it's almost 12 hours I was in the airport..my flight to Johannesburg was delayed for almost 40 minutes, something which is very unusual for Singapore Airlines.. Met my ex boss May Kwah who is based in Bangkok now...(you still remember her, right liv ??) had a good chat with her for a while.. exchanging stories. She was with her family , coming back from their summer break. Chat with Tante Inel who is in Melbourne now...quite nice to keep me from boredom. keep texting with mommy as well ( I need to teach mommy to chat I think since SMS proven quite expensive if being done from abroad)...after wondering around in all of the shops in Changi and shalat Maghrib & Isya, I decided to have noodle and comeback to the lounge afterword (mommy teased me that I sound like Tom Hanks in the movie "Terminal").
The trip to Johannesburg take about 11 hours in length but we have time advantage so after leaving Changi at 2.50 am, I arrived in Johannesburg at 07.55 in the morning. I just found out that South Africa is in winter !!! although, there is no snow here, but still it's very-very cold, almost everybody was wearing thick jacket and overcoats. Stupid me, I should have asked Naidoo (Mick's secretary) on the attire.. I brought really light clothes... I thought it's still summer...(not realizing that South Africa is in southern hemisphere, like Australia, that make August is still winter, unlike in the states which is still summer now). When I arrived in the O.R Tambo International airport, the temperature was only 7 degrees centigrade. It's realy cold, liv !!, and from international arrival terminal I had to walk in the outside for about 150 meter to domestic departure terminal. Another delay !! good thing it was only 20 minutes delay.. I arrive in Durban around 12 o'clock and headed straight to the hotel in Umhlanga (which is about 45 minutes from Durban city). Umhlanga is suburb of Durban, the population I think it's predominantly white and quite upscale area.. a lot of nice houses and nice neighborhood.. since this is the second time I was here, nothing is surprising anymore.... When it was the first time, I couldn't believe to see how beautiful South Africa is.. Durban is situated in shore of Indian Ocean, so houses overlooking the beach were really nice. Our office (especially for some of regional team) is overlooking the ocean... they have a really beautiful canteen in which they have a balcony with ocean view... wonderful and very stunning !! Durban is warmer than Johannesburg since it's in the coastal area. But it is stil quite chill (about 15 degrees centigrade). My hotel is situated in front of the biggest and the most modern mall in Durban. so I had lunch in the mall, after bought local number for my phone to avoid crazy roaming cost. You'd be surprise libby that there are many Indian live here... so I see white, black, and Indian as the inhabitants of Durban.
now, it's your turn to tell me about where you have been in heaven.... tell me what it's like...
gotta go libby,I have to prepare for maghrib then I'm having dinner with all of the team members..it's almost 18 o clock here, which is around 23 in Indonesia..mommy has already slept couple of hours ago...talk to you later okay..

lots of love
ayah..

Travelling

2007-09-08T15:05:00.000+07:00

Hi again Libby
My little princess,... this past few months have been quite hectic for me with all of those travelling abroad and important visitors coming to our office so I don't have time to talk to you. but I promise to spend more time to talk to you, to tell you on what's going on around me and around our family lately. on the travelling part, now at least once a month I have to go abroad, as I said, next week I have to go to Durban, south africa to attend a workshop on D&E market, the following week I have to go to Manila for the RBT. Thank God I don't have anything on September on my agenda (it's fasting time). On first and second week of October I supposed to go to Rotterdam for a course but I have decided to postpone it to next year since I don't want to miss puasa too much. couple of days before lebaran I supposed to go to manila again for savoury RBT but I managed to talk to suppatra (our regional boss) to postpone it after the lebaran. so then after lebaran I will go to Manila again, then followed with trip to London to visit wa willy who is moving to London next month.then, Insya Allah we will continue to go to Paris directly in which I want to spend mommy's birthday party in Eiffel Tower (isn't it romantic). Hopefully mommy will be happy going to Europe with me... many of my friends say that I'm lucky to be able to travel quite often, but honestly it's not a fun travelling at all... it's suck ! on the plane for more than 10 hours than continued right away with full days debating things is not my idea of fun.not too mention preparation beforehand, preparing materials for the meeting (data, presentation materials, etc.) it's actually really tiring, and worse thing is that I don't really have time to enjoy the place I'm visiting. whole days in the meeting room...ok, may be a little during at night for a dinner... but that's it. What will be nice is if you could go around the country, do sight seing, do some shopping. telecommunication cost is also killing me, sms, (the cheapest mean of communication) turn out to be quite costly too is we do it too often. and of course i can not stop communicating with mommy, with adelle, with aliyya...so all and all.. travelling abroad for business purposes is not fun at all.. it's suck !! Now of course it will be different if I'm travelling with you, and mommy, and adelle, and aliyya... although the cost of shopping could go up to the roof ( you know mommy's urge for shopping, right libby??). It's a pity that we haven't had chance to go anywhere abroad... the furthest that we have been was only Bali... but you were very happy already at that time..I'm sure you'll be thrilled if we could go to somewhere further... something with snow in it...anyway,... you could do it anytime now...
Wa willy is moving to london to start a new job as talent and organizational development director in Unilever Asia Amet. such a fancy title, huh libby ? your buddy Laras and Fadlan will go later (after lebaran since they have to find school for them). If you're still around, I could imagine that you will want to go with Laras since Laras is your bestest best friend. anyway, you could always visit her in her dream wherever she is. I remember Laras told me that she had a dream with you coming to her dream and play together. something that you haven't been doing to me lately...I miss you so much dear.. please come again to my dream..
okay then, I got to check out now...and go to the airport although my flight will not come till 2 o clock at night.

kisses and hugs
daddy

Books

2007-09-08T15:04:00.000+07:00

Hi sweetheart...
I'm in singapore now, on the way to Durban, South Africa... spend a night here to buy some books in Borders. I bought some books for Adelle and myself. I bought a lot of books by Roald Dahl for Adelle... They are much cheaper here than in Jakarta. I was going to buy the latest Harry Potter's book for Mommy,and she also she missed some of the series so I was planning to complete 'em for her, but they're too thick and too heavy to be carried in my thin suitcase all the way to south africa. I might come back again on the way back from south africa.
I bought some books too, I bought some of Paulo Coelho's books...I don't know somehow i'm into that type of books now. good books to remind ourselves of who we are...I also bought a book called "Dear Charlie", it's a collection of letters of a dad to his passed away daughter. It's really touchy and it really reminds me of what I usually do (as I'm doing now) to talk to you in spirit. I feel the connection and can really emphatize what this guy feel. Suddenly I feel that I'm lookin at myself. The book is actually so simple, as simple as my letters to you..but I guess that's the strength of the book, the simplicity and the genuine love and care that is shown in the book. a lot of people comments about my love letter to you and encourage me to keep doing it. I guess someday my letters to you would be worth publishing... who knows... But I don't care about all of that, what I care is that I can talk to you, feel your presence although not in physical.
I remember you love books so much that we bought you a complete set of books from Tigaraksa... I remember you particularly like the book on the story of Belgeduel (I forgot the complete title though) that you keep insisting me to read it for you every night. You also like the books on animal, and on human anatomy. Once you told nike that the brain (for thinking) is not really in the forehead but in the back of the head...I don't know where did you get that idea. and you were upset when we teased you that the brain is in the knee not in the head. you said that in the knee there is bone not brain...we were kidding Libby...although some of the people really doesn't have brain in their head and it's in their knee..(otak dengkul). They are especially the corruptors...
Aliyya loves books too, Adelle likes book although not as fond of as Aliyya. Aliyya can read so many books in one night . although, mommy or daddy need to read them for her that's why we told her to learn to read so she can read all the books by herself. Gotta go libby... I will try to read a book again for you someday in the heaven if God let me re-join you...

big hugs...
ayah

Only The Good Die Young II (Tribute to H.Taufik Savalas)

2007-09-08T15:03:00.000+07:00

Hi Libby,
This morning I got a really terrible news. Another good people die young.At 24.28 am, I got the news that one of my good friend, H.Taufik SaValas passed away in a car accident. I feel terribly loss hearing this news. However, I know taufik will be happier with you in heaven, with Allah SWT.
cium sayang
ayah
Pik,
gue sedih banget denger loe pergi. loe itu adalah sedikit diantara artis yang sama sekali nggak pernah sombong, mau bertemen sama siapa aja. Dari mulai tahun 2000 waktu gue pertama kali gue kenal loe sampe sekarang, loe nggak pernah berubah, kecuali tambah bijaksana, padahal loe udah tambah sukses. Loe tuh orang yang sangat setia, berdedikasi tinggi, nggak rewel, baik banget.
Gue selalu inget omongan yang selalu loe omongin bahwa loe bisa begini kayak sekarang karena lifebuoy/ Unilever, makanya loe ngerasa punya utang budi sama unilever.. sekarang utang budi loe udah loe bayar penuh pik, loe pergi waktu mau ngejalanin tugas lifebuoy. Loe udah jadi bagian dari keluarga kita pik.
gue akan selalu inget dan jadikan pelajaran cerita-cerita loe mengenai pengalaman kehidupan loe untuk selalu bisa bersyukur dan bersabar dalam keadaan apa pun.selamat jalan brother !
gue doain loe tenang di alam barzakh sana, semoga Allah SWT ngampunin dosa-dosa loe, terima iman Islam loe, dijauhin dari siksa kubur dan siksa neraka, diterangkan dan dilapangkan kubur loe dan bagi keluarga yang loe tinggalin diberi kekuatan iman dan kesabaran. amien.
temen loe
dicky

Letting Go

2007-09-08T15:02:00.000+07:00

Hi Libby,
what are you doing honey ?? It's been 4 years since you left us but yet I don't know... somehow it's so hard to let you go... a lot of my friends told me that I'm very strong and have big heart to let you go, but honestly speaking, it's very-very tough to accept the fact that I won't meet you anymore. I have just met a good friend who just recently lost her father. I know that her father loved her so much and for sure, she loved her father very much as well. I know how she feels losing someone she loves very dearly. I trully know, since I have been there when I lost you...for a while the world seems stop revolving. but the truth is everything in this world continues when you left as it's for her when her father passed away. it really took a while for me to comprehend and realized about it. I told my friend to let her father go in peace, knowing that he's much happier there in the heaven and looking after her from above just like you do to me. I know it's not easy to let go... but we have to try it hard.. really hard..
I pray for you, I pray for her happiness, her health, her patience, and her perseverance. May he rests in peace as you are...may we be united again someday, liv...
May God hear our prayers... Amieen..

kiss good night, Big Hug !!

ayah

To Forgive is to Forget

2007-09-08T15:01:00.000+07:00

Hi Libby,
how are you doing my little angel ? Ayah baru aja belajar lagi mengenai kehidupan, mengenai minta maaf dan memaafkan. ada seorang teman ayah yang baru aja mengakui kesalahannya dan meminta maaf secara tulus didepan orang banyak... what a courage for him to do that ! yang hebatnya juga, orang yang dimintai maaf pun secara terbuka langsung memberikan maaf, tanpa kelihatan ada dendam. To forgive is to forget... soalnya kalo udah dimaafkan terus masih keinget-inget terus kesalahan orang yang kita maafkan ya hampir sama aja dengan bohong...
ayah ingat waktu Libby kurang lebih berumur 2.5 tahun, kita main-main sewaktu ayah pulang kantor, kamu mungkin tidak sengaja mencakar hidung ayah sampai lecet dan sedikit berdarah. Keesokan paginya ayah pergi ke kantor sewaktu kamu belum bangun dan pulang ke rumah malam-malam sesudah kamu tidur. besoknya kamu bangun pagi-pagi sekali dan membangunkan ayah... ayah masih sangat ingat Libby ngomong ," Ayah, Libby minta maaf sudah bikin hidung ayah berdarah sampai ayah marah dan pergi lama sekali". Ayah sampai nangis waktu itu (ah, ayah jadi nangis lagi nih, Liv....) denger kamu yang baru berumur 2,5 tahun sudah sangat sensitif dan dengan polosnya minta maaf... padahal mungkin ayah yang harus minta maaf karena pulang terlalu malam. Ah kamu memang lebih dewasa dari umur mu, Liv...
Libby sayang, ayah minta maaf ya atas semua kesalahan ayah waktu kamu masih dititipkan sama ayah. Ayah mungkin sering memarahimu, ayah nyeseeeeel banget pernah mengurung kamu di kamar karena Libby nggak mau denger ayah. ayah juga sering memarahi kamu untuk hal-hal yang sepele. ayah sering nggak mau main sama kamu, nggak mau bacain kamu buku ketika ayah kecapean pulang dari kantor. ayah sering malas meninabobokan kamu ketika akan tidur hanya karena ayah merasa ada hal lain yang perlu dilakukan. ayah minta maaf atas semua permintaan kamu yang tidak terpenuhi oleh ayah...last but not least ayah minta maaf tidak bisa menjadi ayah yang sempurna untuk kamu...Libby mau kan maafin ayah...
eh ayah juga perlu minta maaf nih sama mommy, sama aki, sama nini, sama wa willy, sama mang dendy, echi, mang dion, Uti, kakung, tante amy, oom vio... ayah banyaaak salah sama mereka. mudah-mudahan mereka mau maafin ayah. bantuin ayah ya liv buat minta maaf ke mereka. Ayah juga mau minta maaf ah sama Adelle dan Aliyya yang masih sering ayah telantarkan kalau ayah lagi kecapean... kasihan ya adik-adik kamu.. mustinya mereka bisa punya ayah yang lebih baik... oh iya yang paling penting ayah mau minta maaf sama Allah SWT...
di surga nggak perlu ada yang minta maaf sama Libby karena nggak bakal ada yang nyakitin libby, nggak bakal ada yang bikin libby sedih, nggak bakal ada yang marahin libby.. ayah ikut seneng knowing that you will be much happier there, liv. semoga ayah tidak menambah kepedihan atau sakit hati buat siapa pun juga di kemudian hari.
udah dulu ya liv.... nanti kita ngobrol lagi... Libby udah lama nih nggak datang ke mimpi ayah... main lagi dong liv, ayah kangeeeen banget sama Libby...
cium sayang
ayah dicky

Only The Good Die Young

2007-09-08T15:00:00.000+07:00

Hi Libby,
apa kabar ?? kemarin ayah ngelayat anak tetangga kita yang meninggal. Umurnya baru 25 tahun. masih muda ya ?? waktu ngelayat, ayah nggak brenti-brentinya nangis, soalnya ayah jadi inget sama Libby. Ayah lihat ibu dan bapak nya sediiih sekali. Bapaknya aja nggak berenti nangis juga.Ayah bisa ngerasain gimana hancurnya hati bapak itu. Sama seperti waktu Libby pulang ke rumah Allah SWT. Anak itu namanya Mas Teguh, dia anak pertama dari dua bersaudara (sama seperti Libby juga kan ?) masih kuliah. Kata orang-orang, Mas Teguh ini adalah anak yang baik, sering ke mesjid dan dicintai sama teman-temannya (waktu ngelayat, banyak sekali teman-temannya yang datang). Maka dari itu ayah inget pepatah bule yang mengatakan bahwa “Only The Good Die Young”… mungkin ada benernya juga…
Beberapa kali terbersit dalam pikiran ayah bahwa, tidak seharusnya ada orangtua yang menguburkan anaknya…. That’s against the law of nature…. Older people should die earlier… that’s what’s usually happen, right ?… adalah sebuah kesalahan jika ada orang tua yang menguburkan anaknya… tapi come to think of it, ayah sadar bahwa semua adalah hal yang wajar di tangan Allah SWT. Allah SWT maha tahu sehingga sudah pasti lebih tahu apa yang baik bagi ciptaannya. Mematikan dan menghidupkan hanyalah merupakan sebagian kecil dari tanda-tanda kebesaran-Nya. Allah SWT lebih tahu mengenai umur seseorang…remember, Allah SWT adalah pemilik dari sekalian alam, jadi punya hak untuk mengambil ciptaannya kapan saja.
It’s been 4 years since you left us, in fact kita baru aja mengingat kembali kelahiran kamu tanggal 25 April 1998 dan kepulangan kamu tanggal 29 April 2003. Seharusnya kamu sekarang sudah 9 tahun…sudah di kelas 3 SD. Ayah membayangkan seandainya kamu masih ada, kamu pasti sudah tumbuh menjadi anak yang cantik, pintar, penuh prestasi dan bijaksana (seperti bakat-bakat yang sudah kamu tunjukkan ketika kamu masih ada). Adelle, sekarang sudah kelas 1 SD di SBGG. Bahasa Indosesia nya masih belepotan… dia lebih bisa bahasa Inggris daripada bahasa Indonesia (katanya She likes Math best, and she hates Bahasa karena susah). Adelle tinggi banget, mungkin kalau kamu ada tinggi kamu sudah tersusul oleh Adelle. Adelle seneng banget nari (kayak kamu juga ya ??) seneng main biola, seneng ice skating. Dia cantiik deh…. Adik kamu yang kamu nggak pernah lihat, Aliyya sekarang sudah 3 tahun dan sekolah di Kinderfield, bahasa Inggrisnya juga bagus dan bahasa indonesianya lebih bagus dari Adelle. Aliyya seneng banget sekolah, dia udah hampir bisa baca lho, Liv…Hebat ya… kita suka godain dia kalau di dalam tubuhnya ada kamu…mukanya miiiiirrrripp banget sama kamu, badannya juga, walaupun pelitnya minta ampun nggak kayak kamu yang baik banget sama orang.
Waktu kamu ulangtahun, kita sekeluarga pergi ke Singapore. Ayah inget janji ayah untuk bawa kamu ke Amerika buat ketemu sama Grand Pa Don dan Grand Ma Pat. Kamu pengen banget pergi ke luar negeri. Sekarang kamu bisa terbang kapan aja kemana aja kali ya liv ?
Well Libby, you will still live in my heart (in our heart). I really believe now that “Only The Good Die Young”. Allah SWT sayang sekali sama kalian……Kita semua sayang sama kalian…Kunjungi ayah sekali-kali lewat mimpi ya Liv... ceritain surga kayak apa di sana...

Hikmah dibalik Kepulanganmu, Libby….

2007-09-08T14:57:00.001+07:00

Hello Libby, apa kabar ?
Tidak terasa sudah hampir dua tahun Libby pulang ke rumah Libby di surga. Harusnya bulan depan adalah ulang tahunmu yang ketujuh. Ayah masih belum bisa melupakan segala sesuatu yang berkaitan denganmu. Rasanya baru kemarin ayah mengantarkan Libby ke rumah Libby yang baru di surga. Ayah sangat sedih sekali ditinggalkan oleh Libby, waktu itu dunia rasanya hancur, ayah tidak pernah menyangka bahwa Libby akan meninggalkan ayah. Ayah menyangka akan bisa melihat Libby masuk SD di Lab School seperti yang sudah pernah kita bicarakan, akan bisa melihat Libby mulai menjadi ABG di SMP, akan mulai khawatir dengan pergaulan mu di SMA, akan membantu memilihkan jurusan di Universitas sampai akhirnya ayah bisa menikahkanmu dan akan punya cucu darimu. Untuk membayangkan ayah akan berjauhan dari Libby jika Libby harus sekolah di luar negeri saja sudah sangat berat bagi ayah, makanya ayah sangat takut sekali ditinggalkanmu. Namun,semuanya sudah terjadi, Libby sudah ada rumah Allah SWT dan kita tidak akan pernah bisa bertemu lagi kecuali dalam mimpi-mimpi ayah dan di surga kelak,Insya Allah. Selain itu, yang bisa kita lakukan sekarang adalah belajar dan mengambil hikmah dari kepulanganmu.Ayah ingin sekali bisa berbagi pengalaman dan hikmah yang ayah alami dan rasakan ketika ayah ditinggal pulang sama Libby kepada teman-teman ayah supaya mereka belajar dari apa yang ayah alami.
Hal pertama yang ingin ayah ingatkan kepada teman-teman , bahwa harta, anak, ayah, ibu, saudara, yang selama ini sering kita anggap sebagai milik kita adalah sebenarnya hanya merupakan titipan dari Allah SWT yang kapan pun bisa diambil kembali oleh Allah SWT sebagai pemilik segala sesuatu di dunia ini. Kita sering lupa bahwa sesungguhnya kita tidak memiliki apa pun di dunia ini. Allah SWT bisa mengambil apa yang kita pikir milik kita kapan saja tanpa perlu memberi tanda-tanda apa pun, tanpa peringatan sedikit pun. Jangan pernah berpikir bahwa apa yang kita miliki sekarang adalah abadi dan tidak akan pernah hilang. Ketika bulan Desember lalu terjadi bencana yang sangat dahsyat di Aceh, ayah sedih melihat orang-orang yang kehilangan keluarganya, kehilangan anak-anaknya, kehilangan harta bendanya namun ayah juga berdoa mudah-mudahan mereka dan kita semua meyakini bahwa semua adalah milik Allah SWT dan jika Allah SWT berkehendak semua bisa diambil hanya dalam hitungan detik. Mudah-mudahan kita semua dikaruniai kesabaran
Hal kedua yang ayah ingin share adalah alangkah beruntungnya orang-orang yang bisa bersabar dalam menghadapi cobaan dari Allah SWT. Ketika Libby pulang ke surga, semua orang berkata kepada ayah : “Sabar ya…” Ketika itu ayah berkata dalam hati bahwa enak saja mereka berkata seperti itu , mereka semua tidak mengerti bagaimana sulitnya ayah untuk bisa bersabar ketika telah kehilangan salah satu cahaya hidup ayah. Mereka tidak mengalami bagaimana pedihnya hati ayah ditinggalkan oleh anak kesayangan ayah yang telah ayah urus dari bayi, yang telah ayah lihat perkembangannya dari mulai bisa tertawa, bisa berguling, bisa berdiri, bisa bicara, sampai akhirnya Libby berumur 5 tahun dan kamu seperti sudah dewasa pada saat itu dengan omongan-omonganmu yang sangat kritis. Ayah sudah sangat-sangat tidak sabar, sampai-sampai ayah ingin segera menyusulmu ke akhirat. Tapi kemudian ayah sadar bahwa jika ayah menyusulmu belum tentu ayah akan bisa menemuimu di surga karena ayah tahu ayah banyak dosa, tidak sepertimu yang sudah dijanjkan oleh Allah SWT akan menjadi “burung-burung surga” (keinginan mu untuk jadi peri kecil seperti Tinker Bell, rupanya dikabulkan oleh Allah SWT). Alhamdulillah akhirnya ayah diingatkan oleh Allah SWT untuk bersabar , karena ayah tahu bahwa Libby ada di tangan yang jauh lebih baik. Sampai sekarang jujur saja rasanya ayah belum bisa 100% merelakan kepergianmu. Ayah masih suka bermain-main dengan permainan “What if ”. “What if I wasn’t late taking you to the hospital”, “what if you didn’t pass away”, what if , what if yang lain. Semuanya hanya seandainya… ayah tahu “seandainya” tidak akan membawamu kembali ke tengah-tengah kita. Ayah masih berusaha keras untuk bersabar.Dalam doa, ayah selalu minta agar ayah diberi kemampuan untuk bersabar. Maka dari itu sungguh beruntung orang yang mampu bersabar ketika diberi cobaan oleh Allah SWT…
Hal ketiga yang ingin ayah ingatkan kepada teman-teman ayah adalah bahwa dalam keadaan apa pun kita harus selalu bersyukur kepada Tuhan. Belakangan, ketika kehilanganmu, ayah bersyukur bahwa ayah masih punya mommy, masih punya Adelle, masih punya aki, nini, uti, kakung, dan saudara-saudara ayah. Belakangan juga ayah makin bersyukur dengan apa yang ayah punya. Jika membandingkan dengan saudara-saudara kita di Aceh di mana bahkan ada yang sama sekali tidak punya apa-apa lagi selain baju yang menempel di badannya, mereka kehilangan semua anggota keluarganya, sanak saudara, kehilangan harta benda, dll, maka cobaan yang ayah alami mungkin tidak ada apa-apanya. Kita sering kali lupa untuk bersyukur kepada Allah dengan semua yang telah Allah SWT berikan dan titipkan kepada kita . Ada pepatah yang mengatakan “You don’t know what you’ve got until it has gone”. Masih banyak teman-teman ayah yang kelihatannya belum mensyukuri apa yang mereka punya sekarang. Masih banyak yang menyia-nyiakan anak-anak mereka, istri mereka, orangtua mereka, harta mereka, kedudukan mereka, padahal kalau sudah tidak ada baru terasa sakitnya. Lagi-lagi kita sering lupa bahwa jika Allah berkehendak, maka semuanya bisa hilang secepat membalikan telapan tangan. (“Cherish what we have now !”, sayangi anak-anak kita, luangkan waktu sebanyak mungkin untuk anak-anak kita . Karena kita tidak mungkin mengembalikan waktu ketika waktu itu sudah berlalu. Seringkali kita merasa kecapaian pulang dari kantor sampai-sampai kita tidak mau bermain-main dengan anak kita yang sudah menunggu seharian hanya untuk bermain dengan ayahnya).Sampai sekarang ayah masih suka nangis sendiri jika ingat bagaimana ayah setiap hari mengantarkan mu ke sekolah, bagaimana kamu selalu tidak mau dipegang tangannya oleh ayah karena kamu ingin kelihatan mandiri diantara teman-temanmu. Ayah juga masih ingat saat-saat kita tertawa, bermain bersama, ngobrol, dll. Ayah merasa pada saat itu ,“I was your best friend”. Sampai-sampai kamu berkata “Libby anak ayah, Adelle anak mamah”. Ayah bersyukur sewaktu kamu masih hidup, ayah banyak meluangkan waktu untukmu. Makanya ayah sangat menyesal justru ketika kamu akan pulang ke surga, ayah malah nggak nemenin kamu, ayah malah ikut meeting di kantor. Waktu mommy memberitahu bahwa Libby sudah dipanggil pulang oleh Allah SWT, ayah sedang di mobil dalam perjalanan menuju ke rumah sakit. Ayah menyesal sekali tidak bisa mengatakan selamat jalan kepada Libby, tidak bisa mendengar Libby mengucapkan selamat tinggal, tidak bisa mengantarkan Libby pulang. Suatu hal yang akan ayah selalu sesali seumur hidup. Ah, tapi semuanya memang sudah diatur oleh Allah SWT. Tapi ayah akan selalu ingatkan teman-teman untuk berusaha mendahulukan kepentingan darurat keluarga di atas kepentingan kantor. Put first thing first ! Namun demikian, tentunya tidak kemudian membuat-buat keluarga sebagai alasan untuk menghindari tugas kantor.
Hal keempat yang ayah pelajari dari kepergianmu adalah bahwa Allah SWT lebih tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita semua. Di agama kita secara jelas dikatakan “Boleh jadi kamu amat membenci sesuatu padahal hal tersebut amat baik untukmu, boleh jadi pula kamu amat menyukai sesuatu padahal hal itu amat buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui. (QS 2:216). Kalau semuanya dikembalikan kepada Allah SWT sebagai pengatur segala sesuatu di dunia maka akan lebih mudah bagi kita untuk menerima seluruh takdir yang diberikan oleh Allah SWT. Kita wajib berusaha keras dalam segala sesuatu tetapi kita juga harus menyerahkan dan menerima apa pun hasil dari usaha keras kita karena Allah SWT tahu yang paling baik untuk kita. Awalnya ayah merasa bahwa usaha ayah untuk tetap menahanmu di dunia tidaklah maksimal, ayah terlambat membawamu ke rumah sakit. Ayah sangat menyesali apa yang sudah terjadi, namun kemudian ayah sadar bahwa semua yang ada di dunia sudah diatur oleh Allah SWT. Kita hanya bisa berusaha sebisa yang kita bisa namun Allah SWT tetap yang memiliki keputusan akhir. Dengan demikian langkah kita menjadi lebih mudah dalam menghadapi persoalan hidup
Ayah masih ingat bagaimana kamu ingin selalu berguna bagi orang lain, kamu selalu memaksa ayah untuk memberikan uang kepada setiap pengemis yang kita temui. Dalam usia yang masih sangat belia kamu sudah ingat untuk berbagi dengan orang-orang yang kekurangan. Kamu senang sekali ketika kita membagikan makanan untuk para gelandangan di lampu merah di Bandung. Bahkan di kepulangan mu, kamu masih berguna untuk mengingatkan ayah terhadap hal-hal yang sangat penting bagi kehidupan ayah. Sekarang ayah ingin membagi pelajaran yang ayah dapat dari kepergianmu itu kepada teman-teman ayah yang lain supaya mereka tidak harus menunggu sampai hal yang sama terjadi kepada mereka untuk bisa belajar dari pengalaman kita. Walaupun ayah masih suka nangis sendiri jika ingat sama Libby, tapi ayah yakin sekarang Libby sudah menjadi malaikat kecil di surga seperti yang Libby ceritakan dalam mimpi ayah bahwa di rumah Libby yang baru banyak sungai-sungai yang airnya adalah susu, banyak buah-buahan dimana-mana . Ayah semakin yakin dengan kebahagiaan mu di surga ketika ayah merasa melihat Libby tersenyum kepada ayah di langit di atas Kabah ketika ayah sedang berdoa di Masjidil Haram. Semoga teman-teman ayah bisa mengambil hikmah dari pengalaman kita. Sekarang Libby sudah punya adik baru, Aliyya sudah setahun bulan ini. Mukanya mirip sekali dengan Libby, sekarang dia sudah mulai bisa ngomong. Adelle juga sudah besar, beberapa kali dia nangis sambil ngomong pengen ketemu Libby, rupanya dia sudah mulai mengerti bahwa dia tidak akan pernah ketemu lagi dengan kakaknya….tadinya setiap ditanya dimana Kakak, dia selalu jawab di rumah sakit, sekarang di jawab kakak ada di surga…“Selamat tidur, Libby !”, We all still love you very much….
Cium sayangAyah Dicky
(89:27)"Ya ayatuhanafsul muthmainahHai jiwa yang tenang.(89:28)Irjii illa robbiki radhiyatam mardiyahKembalilah kepada Tuhanmu dengan hati yang puas lagi diridhai-Nya.(89:29)fadkhuli fii ibadii Maka masuklah ke dalam jama'ah hamba-hamba-Ku,(89:29)wad khuli jaannatiimasuklah ke dalam syurga-Ku.

Tears In Heaven (By Eric Clapton)
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belonghere in heaven.
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stayhere in heaven.
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging please,begging please.
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,And I know there'll be no moretears in heaven.
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belonghere in heaven.

I’ll Lend you my child…” (by Edgar Guest)

2007-09-08T14:54:00.000+07:00

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, God said ...
For you to love the while she lives ...
and mourn for when she's dead.
It may be five or seven years, or twenty-two and three,
But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you.
And shall her stay be brief, You'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from Earth return.
But there are lessons, taught down there, I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over in search for teachers true, And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now ... will you give her all your love ... nor think the labor in vain? Nor ... hate me when I come to call ... to take her back again?
I fancied that I heard you say ... “Dear Lord, thy will be done!
“For all the joy Your Child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
“We'll shelter her with tenderness.
We'll love her while we may, “And for the happiness we've known ... forever grateful stay.
“But shall the angels call for her much sooner than we've planned,
“We'll brave the bitter grief that comes ... and try to understand.” *

Surat Untuk Libby di Surga (In Loving memory of Allyvia Adzhani N.Saelan , April 25, 1998-April 29, 2003)

2007-09-08T14:44:00.000+07:00

Dear Libby, Apa kabar Libby ? Akhir-akhir ini ayah kangen dan ingat terus sama Libby, apalagi di negara kita saat ini sedang berjangkit penyakit demam berdarah. Virus yang mengantarkan Libby menghadap Allah SWT. Ayah ingat hampir satu tahun yang lalu. Sejak hari Sabtu tgl 19 April 2003, Libby sudah mengeluh kurang enak badan, ayah langsung membawa Libby ke dokter specialis Libby di Mall Ambassador hari itu juga untuk mendapatkan perawatan. Dokter waktu itu menyatakan ba hwa Libby sakit radang tenggorokan. Walaupun sudah agak membaik, hari Senin 21 April 2003 Libby tidak sekolah dulu agar bisa beristirahat dan lagipula besok Libby akan perform ballet untuk pertama kalinya. Ketika ayah pulang kantor, Libby sangat excited untuk segera perform ballet besok harinya. Ayah juga ingat Libby tunjukkan semua costume yang telah dimiliki. Kamu memang sangat-sangat menyenangi ballet. "Ayah lihat Libby perform besok kan ?" tanya Libby pada ayah, yang ayah langsung jawab iya. Keesokan harinya tanggal 22, April 2003, Ayah sengaja mengambil cuti agar bisa leluasa hadir ke performance ballet Libby yang pertama.
Pk 6.15 Ayah mengantarkan Libby sekolah, sepanjang perjalanan Libby terus berbicara mengenai performance ballet (suatu ritual yang hampir setiap hari ayah jalani bersama Libby ketika Libby sudah mulai TK di Lab.School Rawamangun). Karena hari itu cuti, ayah pun bisa menjemput Libby ketika pulang sekolah pk 11.30, Libby sangat senang ayah jemput karena tidak biasa-biasanya ayah bisa jemput kamu. Dalam perjalanan pulang Libby bertanya sama ayah , "Ayah, siapa Kartini itu ?" lalu ayah Jawab "Kartini itu seorang putri yang berjasa pada kaum wanita makanya diperingati sebagai hari Kartini". Kemudian Libby bertanya lagi "kok putri tidak pakai baju Cinderella" (Libby tahunya gambaran Putri adalah seperti yang digambarkan dalam karakter Disney). Ayah berusaha menjawab semua pertanyaan Libby dengan sebaik mungkin. Bahkan sampai pada pertanyaan "Kartini itu sudah meninggal ya ayah ?", ayah jawab iya. Libby masih terus memborbardir ayah dengan pertanyaan "Kalau Libby mau diperingati harus meninggal dulu ya yah ? Ayah agak bingung juga menjawabnya, namun akhirnya ayah jawab "tidak perlu karena ada juga yang masih hidup sudah diperingati". Pertanyaan itu tadinya hampir tidak ada artinya kecuali contoh lain dari curiosity kamu yang sangat tinggi, namun belakangan ayah mulai menyadari bahwa mungkin ini adalah firasat tepat seminggu sebelum kepulangan kamu ke Allah SWT
Ketika perform ballet, ayah ingat Libby kelihatan masih lemas, belum lagi beberapa teman kamu tidak menari dengan baik sehingga secara keseluruhan penampilannya tidak terlalu menggembirakan. Kamu yang sangat perfectionist kelihatan sangat kecewa dengan penampilan kelompokmu yang kurang kompak. Ketika pulang, Libby kelihatan agak murung, ayah terus menerus berusaha untuk menghibur Libby dengan mengatakan bahwa performance-mu cukup baik. Tapi tidak dapat ditutupi bahwa Libby kecewa sekali. Hari Kamis malam, Libby panas lagi sampai 40 derajat. Tanggal 25 April 2003, Libby ulang tahun yang ke-5, kamu masih sakit sehingga tidak masuk sekolah. Ayah dan Mommy kembali membawa kamu ke dokter , dokter mengatakan bahwa jika sampai Senin belum turun juga panasnya, Senin harus diambil darah. Tanggal 26 April 2003, Libby merayakan pesta ulang tahun yang ke-5 di McDonald Arion. Libby sudah mulai turun panasnya hanya masih kelihatan lemas.Pesta ini adalah permintaan pertama Libby karena biasanya ulangtahunmu hanya dirayakan di sekolah dengan membawa kue ulang tahun saja. Entah kenapa Libby menginginkan pesta di McDonald lengkap dengan badut-nya.Ayah minta maaf sama Libby karena terlambat mengurusnya, badut yang diminta kamu tidak bisa hadir di pesta (ayah tidak tahu bahwa McD tidak memperbolehkan badut dari luar). Libby kelihatan kecewa dengan ketidakhadiran badut itu karena ternyata kamu sudah bercerita pada teman-temanmu bahwa di pestanya akan ada badut teletubies (Ayah sangat-sangat menyesal tidak bisa memenuhi permintaan Libby, maafin ayah ya Liv...). Libby ngomong "badutnya nggak bisa datang ya,yah ? gimana ya nanti Libby dibilang pembohong sama teman-teman. Tapi nggak apa-apalah teman-teman pasti ngerti". Libby adalah seorang yang sangat patuh terhadap janji, kamu tidak mau mengecewakan orang lain.
Pulang dari pesta Libby kelihatan sakit lagi, ayah mencoba untuk menghibur kamu dengan melakukan kompress dan lain-lain, panas kamu tidak turun-turun, hadiah yang banyak pun hampir-hampir tidak kamu sentuh, hanya saja ada percakapan kita yang ayah masih sangat ingat. Libby ingat nggak ketika ayah tanya "Liv, uang yang dari nini kan banyak, mau dibeliin apa sama Libby, beliin mainan ya !?" Libby malah bilang sama ayah "Ayah, mainan Libby udah banyak sekali... bahkan sebagian mau Libby kasiin ke orang miskin, kasihan kan mereka nggak punya mainan... Libby mau kirim bunga yang banyak sekali untuk nini..Nini pasti seneng..." Ayah kaget denger jawaban Libby tapi sama sekali tidak menyangka apa-apa.. belakangan ayah baru sadar ini adalah tanda-tanda mu yang lain karena waktu sebelum pemakaman ternyata rumah nini tempat kamu disemayamkan dipenuhi oleh bunga-bunga yang bersimpati sama kita.
Libby ingat nggak hari Minggu ayah dan Mommy bawa Libby ke rumah sakit Bunda untuk diambil darah karena ayah tidak mau nunggu lagi sampai hari Senin. Ayah ingat Libby minta ayam A&W dan minuman Fruity strawberry, ayah seneng sekali Libby minta makan karena sudah dua hari ke belakang Libby susah makan. Libby nggak pernah mengeluh sakit perut cuma mengeluh pusing saja dan mual. Besoknya mommy membawa hasil test darah ke dokter lagi, trombosit kamu masih 149.000. Kata dokter Libby terkena gejala Thypus dan disarankan untuk istirahat dan banyak minum. Sore harinya panas Libby sudah mulai turun, ayah senang sekali pada saat itu, bahkan ayah telepon ke Bandung untuk memberi tahu bahwa Libby sudah turun panasnya,cuma pada saat itu Libby masih sangat lemas dan masih muntah.
Ayah pikir Libby sudah mendingan. Malamnya ternyata Libby terus mengigau dalam tidur,ayah, mommy dan uti nggak berhenti berdoa, kita put uskan untuk membawa kamu ke dokter lagi first thing in the morning. Sama sekali tidak terbersit dalam pikiran ayah bahwa Libby mungkin sudah mulai didekati oleh malaikat. Panas kamu sudah turun sekali ke 36 derajat. Keesokan harinya Libby dianter sama mommy dan uty ke dokter lagi, di dokter menurut mommy trombosit kamu sudah turun ke 59.000 dan langsung diperintahkan untuk masuk rumah sakit. Mommy membawa kamu ke RS Mitra Jatinegara karena kata dokter, disana PICU (ICU anak-anak)-nya cukup baik. Kata Mommy, dalam perjalanan ke RS, kamu masih minta mie dan pisang. Mommy ingat di dalam mobil Libby ngomong "Ma, kok orang-orang itu tidurnya aneh ya ?" Mommy nggak bisa jawab cuma bilang "Libby kuat ya...." . Sampai di rumah sakit Libby sudah nggak sadar, ketika ditaruh di bed gawat darurat, Libby langsung kejang dan pergi untuk selamanya sebelum dokter sempat melakukan pertolongan apa-apa.
Ayah minta maaf ya Liv nggak bisa nememin kamu pulang ke rumah kamu di surga. Ayah ngerasa bodoh sekali malah ikut meeting di kantor ketika kamu sedang berjuang dengan maut. Tapi memang jalannya sudah harus begitu, ayah rela Libby pulang ke rumah pemilik Libby karena ayah hanya diberi kesempatan untuk merawat Libby selama tepat lima tahun.
Mommy sekarang sedang hamil lagi, Adelle sudah mulai cerewet, maunya sekarang pake baju punya Libby terus. Kemarin-kemarin dia terus berbicara mengenai kamu, Libby datang ke mimpinya Adelle ya ?? Ya udah dulu ya Liv, ayah harus kerja dulu. Ayah mau buat surat buat teman-teman ayah biar mereka belajar dari pengalaman kita"
Cium sayang Ayahmu : dicky
ini ada tambahan.... Teman-teman, pelajaran yang bisa kita ambil dari pengalaman kami adalah :
1. pelajari dan kenali berbagai jenis penyakit dan gejalanya. Libby terkena demam berdarah dan kami sudah terlambat untuk membawanya ke rumah sakit. Jika anak-anak kita, atau kita sendiri panas selama dua hari berturut-turut, lebih baik langsung ke dokter dan minta periksa darah. Minta sekalian periksa darah untuk dengue rapid karena kadang-kadang trombosit-nya masih 200.000 (batas normal adalah 150.000-400.000) tetapi sebenarnya sudah terkena virus dengue. Jika dokter menyatakan thypus atau radang tenggorokan, atau flu biasa, lebih baik cari second opinion dari dokter yang lain.
2. Sampai meninggalnya Libby, tidak timbul bercak-bercak merah di sekujur tubuhnya, tidak mimisan, tidak muntah darah. artinya symptom dengue sudah tidak khas. Salah satu cara termudah untuk mendeteksi dini DBD adalah dengan menekan salah satu kuku ibu jari, kemudian lihat apakah permukaan yang putih ketika ditekan langsung kembali merah. karena DBD menyebabkan darah agak mengental sehingga ketika selesai dipencet, biasanya kuku yang terkena DBD agak lambat kembali merahnya. Raba denyut nadi, penderita DBD biasanya denyut nadinya agak lemah.
3. Pantau terus kondisi pasien jika sudah positif DBD, kadang-kadang beberapa rumah sakit mencek darah hanya sehari sekali, minta pengecekan dilakukan 6 jam sekali. Jika trombosit sudah mulai memasuki 30.000, tanya dan siapkan beberapa teman dan keluarga yang memiliki darah yang sama dengan penderita untuk berjaga-jaga jika tranfusi darah dibutuhkan karena saat ini sulit mendapatkan persediaan darah
4. Pakaikan mosquito repellent pada anak-anak kita di waktu siang untuk menjaga gigitan nyamuk aedes aegepty.
5. Jika anak sakit, tinggalkanlah urusan kantor atau urusan apa pun, keluarga jauh lebih penting daripada apa pun di dunia ini, anda akan menyesal seumur hidup jika mengalami kejadian seperti cerita diatas.
6. Setelah semua usaha kita lakukan, pasrahkan semua kepada Allah SWT karena bagaimana pun kita berusaha jika Tuhan berkehendak lain, maka tidak ada yang dapat menghalangi keputusanNya. Pasrah dan rela terhadap apa pun keputusan Allah SWT.